Real-life Beavis and Butthead are so very terrifying

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Beavis and Butthead

Kevin Kirkpatrick, a make-up effects artist whose credits include American Horror Story and True Blood, has taken it upon himself to ensure sleep deprivation the world over. He's created these models of Beavis and Butthead as real human beings, and, well, if you haven't already recoiled with the closest stuffed animal in sight or scratched at your eyeballs, you are a braver person than me.

Perhaps Kirkpatrick made these… um, treasures… in celebration of Beavis and Butthead's triumphant return last October. But dude, couldn't you have picked something a little less traumatizing? Like a cartoon face cake? (Delicious and non-threatening.) Let this be a preemptive warning to any enterprising make-up effects artists with nostalgia for Aahh!!! Real Monsters: I won't have it. I just won't.

Really though, I'm not too upset about how unsettling these things are. I'm upset for another reason, Mr. Kirkpatrick. You may have thought your models of Beavis and Butthead as real people were interesting and bizarre, but I see them for what they really are: more ammunition for my easily frightened suburban mother. One look at these things and she's going to start telling me yet again how these are precisely the kind of men who lurk around my subway stop, waiting for girls like me to snatch, and wonder if I should move back home immediately. I blame you for her eventual "rescue mission."