What do zombies want more than anything? Brains? To be put out of their misery? More paramedics? Well, according to the Microsoft-owned Bing, all that the living dead wants is a faster, more organized search engine. Duh.
In today's installment of "Tales of Atrocious Advertising That Thankfully Never Occurred," it turns out that last year Bing pursued a placement in The Walking Dead, AMC's post-apocalyptic zombie drama. In a conversation with the New York Times, Bing's marketing director Sean Carver shared the proposed concept, saying that they "pitched [the show] last year where maybe the characters could find a library with a generator and do a Bing search."
Yes, in a narrative that takes place after the apocalypse, where all power grids have been destroyed and people live in a constant threat of being eaten by zombies, it makes sense that the first thing the show's characters would do when in a new city is charge into the public library in order to search for the nearest Fuddruckers on Bing. Am I really supposed to believe that a second-rate Google can survive the apocalypse?
Unsurprisingly, AMC turned down the search engine's offer. But Bing refused to be defeated! They'd capture the zombie-loving demographic come hell or high water, goddamnit. With no possibility of a product placement, the company went ahead and made a series of zombie-focused commercials instead (pictured above), using The Walking Dead's Emmy-award winning makeup team.
Well, I think you may have a delusional marketing staff, Bing, but I admire your moxie.