If you're a gay kid who grew up in the 1980s, you probably spent a significant amount of time fantasizing about going to the mall with Mike Seaver from Growing Pains, where you'd split a sundae at TCBY before heading to J.C. Penney's to try on Wranglers. In these dreams, Mike Seaver didn't judge you. Mike Seaver didn't think you were weird or unnatural or uncool for making out with that Tiger Beat poster of him in your closet. He accepted you for who you were, because that's just the kind of guy that Mike Seaver was: a lovable rapscallion with a heart of gold.

Unfortunately, there's a reason that these dreams never came true: the dude who played Mike Seaver, Kirk Cameron, is a USDA-certified asshole. Recently, Cameron, a born-again Christian who starred in the film adaptation of the Left Behind series, went on Piers Morgan's show to discuss his views on homosexuality. "I think that it's unnatural," he told Morgan. "I think that it's detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization." 

During the interview, Cameron was also asked for his thoughts on gay marriage. “I believe marriage was defined by God,” he told Morgan. “Marriage is almost as old as dirt, and it was defined in the Garden between Adam and Eve. One man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would never attempt to try to redefine marriage. And I don’t think anyone else should either. So do I support the idea of gay marriage? No, I don’t.”

Cameron also said that if one of his six sons came out as gay, he would not accept his sexual orientation, and would instead tell him, "There are all sorts of issues we need to wrestle through in our life... Just because you feel one way doesn't mean we should act on everything we feel."

So just to recap: if you were a gay male who had a crush on Mike Seaver in the '80s, not only does Mike Seaver think you're "unnatural," he also thinks you're responsible for the destruction of "so many of the foundations of the civilization." But then again, Mike Seaver is a born-again Christian, so he probably thinks shit like drinking iced lattes and singing along to Adele in your car is unnatural as well. Oh, well: maybe Mark-Paul Gosselaar is still available?

Commentarium (22 Comments)

Mar 04 12 - 1:59am
was rabirec

Fuck Kirk Cameron. Does anyone really give a shit was he thinks about anything anyway?

Mar 04 12 - 10:20pm

you do, shithead.

Mar 05 12 - 2:36am

Actually, I'm guessing not.

Mar 04 12 - 2:55am

I agree. Fuck him.

Mar 04 12 - 10:18am
Lance N.

Camron was also supposedly responsible for the firing from Growing Pains of Julie McCullough, after he objected to having a Playboy Playmate on the cast. In other words, he's been a grade-A arse for some time.

Mar 04 12 - 1:47pm
Nick B.

What are these mysterious "foundations of civilization" that these people always talk about? Really, I'd like to know. I hadn't any idea that civilization was predicated on gay bashing. Also, religion is more of a choice than homosexuality ever will be; a person chooses to be a born-again Christian douchebag.

Mar 04 12 - 5:18pm
It's good to know...

...that someone against gay-bashing is comfortable calling someone a "Christian douchebag."

Hypocritical much?

Mar 04 12 - 6:20pm
I believe he said

'born-again Christian douchebag'...

Mar 04 12 - 10:39pm
Nick B.

I have no issue with Christians, be they born-again or Protestant or Catholic. I have problems with douchebags who happen to be born-again Christians.

Mar 05 12 - 3:49am
grammar geek

I believe in his statement, douchebag was the noun, and "born-again Christian" modified the noun. So he wasn't saying all Christians are douchebags, but that this particular douchebag happened to be a born-again Christian.

Mar 04 12 - 3:23pm

Someone should make a porno spoof of "Like Father Like Son" and have Kirk Cameron trade brains with a gay dude and he has tons of gay sex.

Mar 04 12 - 6:27pm

"born-again Christian, so he probably thinks shit like drinking iced lattes and singing along to Adele in your car is unnatural as well."

except that they, you know, are.

Mar 05 12 - 4:30am

I wouldn't drink an iced latte unless you held a gun to my head, but singing along to Adele in my car is a perfectly natural pursuit, and prevents my wife either having a stroke from laughing or throwing me out of the house, were I do do it there.

Mar 04 12 - 8:19pm

I think it's unnatural the amount of time I devote to masturbating to online porn but it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop.

Mar 04 12 - 9:54pm

the same guys saying its "unatural" are masturbating to gay porn online

Mar 05 12 - 4:33am

"heading to J.C. Penney's to try on Wranglers" - doesn't make sense. If you wear Wranglers, you just buy the same size every time. And you buy them at Target where they are like half the fucking price.

Mar 05 12 - 10:10am

Hey Kirk, tell us again how bananas disprove evolution and prove that God created man.

Mar 05 12 - 3:09pm
mr. man

"there is no such thing in life as normal." - morrissey

Mar 07 12 - 6:05pm

Um...Wranglers were "popular" in the '70s, not the '80s. And you had to buy them at Sears. You couldn't get them at J.C. Penney. My parents brought us to Sears at least twice a week when I was a kid and I still have the occasional nightmare.

Mar 10 12 - 6:29pm

Yes, it is against nature, like it or not. That does not mean that gays not exist, because humans are revelious by nature too, and even when we were not meant to fly we recreated airplanes. Don't expect to believe that what you feel is right, it may not be right. Search for your spiritual welfare beyond your flesh, not in your flesh, because you will never be satisfied. After a man becoming a woman or a woman becoming a man, the pain still will be there, the sadness still will be there. God loves you for what you are, discover you personality in him, and not in your gender or hormons. All of that will pass aways.

Mar 17 12 - 1:11am

How exactly is against nature? Is it against nature because two men or two women can't reproduce together? Or is it against nature because you believe that human beings are the only creatures that participate in gay sex(which is false)?

Gay sex was happening for a long time before Christianity dragged itself out of whatever muddy hole, and it will be happening long after it's died out. I really wish people would stop trying to use religion to justify their homophobia. If something makes you uncomfortable own up to it, but don't try to pretend that whatever religion you've decided to indoctrinate yourself to justifies your ignorance.

Elyin, you are a bad person.

May 28 12 - 2:41am

Everyone has the right to their opinion. Whether you like it or not it's his opinion. It's a free country isn't it?? Good on you Kirk!! It's your tight to say what you think. And if you don't like his opinion, change the channel. Just like I do when the gay mardi gras comes on tv!!