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This is how Charlie Sheen’s character will die on “Two and a Half Men”

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TMZ has discovered just how Charlie Harper, Charlie Sheen's character on Two and a Half Men, is going to kick the bucket. And, like many things involving Charlie Sheen, it is gross. Sheen was fired from the  unbelievably successful sitcom — literally unbelievable, as in, my mind cannot comprehend and rejects the very idea of the show's huge ratings — after he went straight-up crazy last year. Before they can bring on replacement mannequin Ashton Kutcher, the show's producers feel that the dignified/cathartic thing to do is kill the character off. And they clearly have some aggression stored up:

Sources at Friday night's taping tell us … Harper married Rose — the neighbor/stalker he flew to Paris with last season — but things went downhill quickly when she found him in the shower with another woman.

In the episode, we're told Rose speaks at the funeral and recounts what happened to Charlie … saying the day after the shower incident she and Charlie were waiting for a Paris subway when Charlie "slipped" and the subway literally blew him apart in a "meat explosion."

Meat explosion. Meat. Explosion. Work your mouth around that one for a bit, and see if you can keep down lunch.

One thing I discovered as this whole Sheen debacle unfolded was that Two and a Half Men — which I had thought sight unseen was simply middling and trite — was actually kind of horrific, with gross sexual gags in uncomfortable proximity to a thirteen-year-old and ad campaigns like this. Sheen probably didn't help matters, but it is clear the show's problems run much deeper. Thank you for reminding me of this again, meat explosion.