Want to know which new characters will return in the fourth season of "True Blood"?

If the headline didn't tip you off, there are going to be some very serious and informative spoilers in this post, so if you want to go into next week's season finale with no prior knowledge of the outcome, do not keep reading this. I have a very odd relationship with spoilers, readers: in general I have no problem with them — though there are certain shows and movies I like to know as little as possible about. No, for some reason, what I really hate is when other people hear spoilers. I want everyone to have a pure, in-the-moment experience for some strange reason.

So why am I about to tell you who's coming back for the fourth season of True Blood? Well, for one thing, I will probably never watch True Blood with you or hear about your viewing experience, so it won't bug me very much. But more importantly, it's because I'm so excited by one of the names, I couldn't not share. So, who is sticking around?

- Jesus, Lafeyette's sexy love interest who is also maybe some kind of jaguar-worshipping priest maybe, played by Kevin Allejandro.

- Tommy, Sam's punk of a brother who is also a shapeshifter, played by Marshall Allman

- Holly, the new Merlotte's waitress who is either a witch or a scam artist, played by Lauren Bowles

- Alcide, the incredibly, unbelievably hot werewolf who has been missing from recent episodes for some unfathomable reason, played by Joe Manganiello and his expansive shoulders

And finally:

- Russell Edgington, the vampire king of Mississippi who is easily the best thing to happen to True Blood since Maryann and who apparently won't be dying next week, played by Denis O'Hare

Honestly, I'm pretty shocked and pleased by that last one. Besides the obvious fact that it seemed like Russell was on his way out in the last episode, I just didn't think O'Hare would want to stick around for another season. Who knows how he (or any of these characters, really) will be back, though? Clearly with this show nothing's impossible.

Via io9.