Author and TV personality Anthony Bourdain has never made a secret of his distaste for the uber-perky Rachael Ray. And in a new video spot for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, the former heroin addict and Ramones fan recommends his highly condensed version of Ray's 30 Minute Meals. His twenty-second late-night meals, "an important component of any drunk-ass diet," are aimed at the apres-bar crowd lacking the patience to make that bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. With his trademark sarcasm, he notes that mac and cheese is "made from the same space-age polymer they use on the nose cone of the space shuttle." He marvels at the interactivity of Crunch Berries, and the challenge posed at determining whether the milk has turned pink due to the Crunch Berries themselves, or whether it's a result of bleeding from the jagged Cap'n Crunch cereal components. And he opines that Kung Pao Chicken and the soda of your choice make the perfect hangover breakfast. Take notes.