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Watch: David Letterman asks Emma Watson if she’s ever been drunk, peed on a subway

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Is it just us, or is it easy to imagine David Letterman as a falling-down drunk? Something about his crafty, midcentury-show-business persona makes it easy to picture him as a cranky alcoholic who calls his secretary "sugar tits" while dialing Don Draper on his rotary phone.

But hey, he's probably not that (who knows, maybe he doesn't even drink; we're too lazy to Wikipedia him right now) — but Emma Watson might be. In light of her Harry Potter costar Daniel Radcliffe's alcoholic admission, Letterman grilled Watson like a concerned father. "Have you ever had whiskey, or one of those distilled spirits?" "Do you use controlled substances?" "You ever had to take a leak on the subway?" Good questions, all! See how she answers them in the video below.