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Facebook plans to end anonymous “defriending,” world responds by phasing out eye contact

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Mark Zuckerberg wants to own--I mean, tell people about your life

That's right, fellow non-confrontational Facebook users — Facebook's new Timeline feature will, among other things, allow users to see when they've been defriended. The new feature will remodel Facebook's current profile page, turning the site into a sort of living scrapbook; every twist and turn in a user's Facebook history will be sprawled across the page, ready for leisurely perusal.

Every post, each activity from a person's existence on Facebook will be compiled and displayed in a month-by-month break down. Played Farmville for four hours in June? It's up on the page! Posted pictures from Tequila Tuesday back in 2008? It's up on the page! Just got defriended by Mike Cohen, the boy who took you to junior prom? Oh, it's up on the page — glaring and huge, mocking you like a playground bully. (Okay, it's not actually that glaring — you kind of have to look for it — but still.)

Timeline won't hit Facebook for some time but it's pending arrival looms over us like an internet apocalypse. In an interview with BuzzFeed, Meghan Peters, Mashable's community manager, predicted how Timeline will affect Facebook's 800 million users:

I think that people will definitely be upset by it. I mean, it always hurts to know that someone isn't your friend anymore.

Yes, Meghan — it does hurt. In unrelated news, alleged-close-friend Julia Norris has disappeared from Colette McIntyre's friend list overnight. Distraught and confused, the user shared her surprise: 

I thought we were tight — we had great Facebook chat sessions; I always liked her new default photo. I don't know what I did. JUST TELL ME WHAT I DID. 

Update: It looks like anonymous defriending is back. Huzzah for passive-aggressive pruning of friendships!