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Colleges buying .xxx domains to stop college-themed porn

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Were you aware that today was the deadline for the purchase of proprietary domain names with the new, pornographic .xxx tag? That's right: after today you could totally buy up CocaCola.xxx (refreshing!) or Apple.xxx (innovative!) or Peptobismol.xxx (gross!), if the companies with those registered trademarks haven't done so already. (The first two must have; you might actually have a crack at the third.) But there's one group of organizations you may not have expected to care so much that's busy snatching up domains before those smut peddlers — and I say that with love, mind you — get their sticky little hands all over them: colleges and universities.

"I think you can look at the 'Girls Gone Wild' phenomenon and figure (adult websites) may aim at the college-aged demographic," Deborah Douglas, spokeswoman at Chicago State University which registered csu.xxx and chicagostateuniversity.xxx, told the Chicago Tribune. "We need to protect the integrity of our students and our brand. Porn and parasite, you can put those in the same sentence."

Douglas is right — you totally can put those two words in one sentence! Like, "'Porn' and 'parasite' both start with the sixteenth letter of the alphabet." Now you try!

Oh, but she is also right that those domains would almost definitely become porn-site parodies of, if not the specific institution, at least college in general. Pornographers aren't rolling in dough for being stupid, after all, and if something as thoroughly un-erotic as Joe Francis' sadness parade can make so much with the promise of co-eds, you can bet the hardcore guys will get on that beat as best they can. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go purchase Nerve.xxx and then sell it back to my boss in exchange for a generous holiday bonus. (Kidding! Please don't fire me.)