Internet Z-lister Courtney Stodden, the seventeen-year-old sometime rapper who married fifty-one-year-old actor Doug Hutchison (The Green Mile, Lost), is definitely going places. Places like Funny or Die, where she recently appeared with her husband on "The Donny Clay Show," hosted by a conspicuously non-bald Jason Alexander in the guise of "America's fourth-leading life coach," the decidedly anti-Dr. Phil Donny Clay.
The skit is instructive in that it shows us Stodden will never have an acting career, but she'll always have the internet's incredulous gawking. Alexander's Clay supposedly just wants to improve "Stodden and Hutchison's" relationship, explicitly stating that he has no interest in the ambitious teen's famously real breasts. But the life coach's actions seem to belie his words, as he curiously uses an iPhone app to assess the quality of her heart, which involves rubbing his iPhone on Stodden's bikini-clad breasts. Hutchison is gradually all but rendered a cuckold by Clay's smarmy aggression with his wife.
The May-December aspect of the Stodden-Hutchison marriage is creepily fascinating, but it's kind of weird to see fifty-two-year-old Jason Alexander getting frisky with the precocious spotlight hog. It somehow doesn't seem right for Alexander and Stodden to be in on the joke together; the former Seinfeld star should be laughing at this train wreck like everyone else, not encouraging it.