News

Facebook cartoon campaign to end child abuse was not organized by pedophiles after all

Pin it


I've been spending this week ending child abuse. "Did you volunteer your time at a shelter benefiting abused women and children?" you may ask. The answer is no; I did something far more meaningful. This week, despite my strenuous schedule, I found time to change my Facebook profile picture to a favorite cartoon character, one representative of the fond memories I have from childhood. Many of you probably engaged in a similar act of selflessness — as part of a Facebook-wide campaign to end child abuse. (Don't ask exactly how that works. Just do it.)

But then, just when I was feeling really self-satisfied, I heard a rumor that it was actually pedophiles behind the whole thing! Something about how pedophiles started this campaign just so they could identify underage teens on Facebook. This didn't really make any sense, but I was outraged anyway. Thankfully, Facebook has issued a statement assuring me that pedophiles were not, in fact, behind the cartoon craze. Though the cartoon campaign ended yesterday, I can rest assured of my altruism. Besides, everyone knows finding a teen who's DTF on Facebook is easy. Just look for the tell-tale signs: angled, cleavage-exposing, Mac Photobooth profile pic; gratuitous use of internet acronyms; sidebangs.