Facebook’s confusing Timeline is about to become mandatory

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Mark Zuckerberg Facebook

Facebook's overwhelming Timeline profile layout will no longer be optional, as the website is set to roll out the feature across all user profiles in the coming weeks.

Apparently unaware that I get confused and click away every time I see a profile with Timeline, the site's "entirely new kind of profile" is set to go into effect for all users, but will start as a seven-day preview before it goes live. According to the site, this "gives you a chance to add or hide whatever you want before anyone else sees it."

In other words, you have time to get rid of any embarrassing freshman dorm pictures the new "comprehensive" feature dredges up before all your coworkers and relatives see them. That, and all of us now have to go through the embarrassing spectacle of choosing a background image to represent our true selves. Excuse me while I start Google image searching "sunsets" and "cats."