In hilarious found note, girl vows to spend more time tanning, do less cocaine

From this note — found in a gym locker room in California and brought to you courtesy of the internet — we can surmise a lot. In fact, archeologists from the future could probably piece together an entire life story.

Landon did something pig-headish that prompted the writing of this note and that probably involved sleeping with the author. 

The young woman who wrote the note has decided, "Enough!" and in the spirit of turning over a new leaf, is going on a self-betterment quest that includes more tanning and less cocaine. She's not going to quit drinking — but will cut back to 4x a week — and stop going to Moondoggies (probably a reference to the bar in San Diego) — where, in fact, one might speculate, she met the dubious Landon, and perhaps, even slept with him. 

During her reinvention, she won't be monkish, but will only have sex with Chris, who, one imagines, is a lovely, level-headed boy with none of the annoying quirks (but probably slightly less charm) than that no-good Landon. 

In less than a month, she will return to Moondoggies, get drunk, and text Landon — whose number, fortunately, she did not delete.