From this note — found in a gym locker room in California and brought to you courtesy of the internet — we can surmise a lot. In fact, archeologists from the future could probably piece together an entire life story.

Landon did something pig-headish that prompted the writing of this note and that probably involved sleeping with the author. 

The young woman who wrote the note has decided, "Enough!" and in the spirit of turning over a new leaf, is going on a self-betterment quest that includes more tanning and less cocaine. She's not going to quit drinking — but will cut back to 4x a week — and stop going to Moondoggies (probably a reference to the bar in San Diego) — where, in fact, one might speculate, she met the dubious Landon, and perhaps, even slept with him. 

During her reinvention, she won't be monkish, but will only have sex with Chris, who, one imagines, is a lovely, level-headed boy with none of the annoying quirks (but probably slightly less charm) than that no-good Landon. 

In less than a month, she will return to Moondoggies, get drunk, and text Landon — whose number, fortunately, she did not delete.
Hilarious note

Commentarium (18 Comments)

Jan 20 11 - 3:03pm

At least she doesn't fall back on self-improvement cliches, though I would have enjoyed seeing go to the gym on this list.

Apr 21 11 - 9:05pm

Wasn't the note found at a gym?

Jan 20 11 - 3:07pm
mr. man

sex with guys named Chris only

Jan 20 11 - 3:20pm

Could someone please explain what "Narcos" means?

Jan 20 11 - 3:23pm

And its good that she's chosing to do 'narcos' at work only.

Jan 20 11 - 4:49pm

I thought it said Norco, which is a type of pain pill, like Lortab or Vicodin. Good that she only takes them while working...

Jan 20 11 - 5:02pm

narcos-narcotics. pretty obvious?

Jan 20 11 - 5:48pm


Jan 20 11 - 6:18pm

I think that she is confusing narcotics (a fairly useless term) with stimulants (a somewhat useless term). I'm guessing that she's only doing methamphetmines at work, as she's swearing off cocaine.

Jan 20 11 - 7:02pm

Meh. I'm thinking Chris is some Tejas frat-boy, while Landon is a more viable alternative, probably employed at a well-known California burger joint that pays well above minimum wage. Like In 'n' Out, for example.

Jan 20 11 - 10:01pm

(888) 29-CLASS

Jan 20 11 - 11:17pm

The funny part is, this is a girl with obvious issues, but who still makes "To Do" lists!

Jan 21 11 - 10:06am

Norco IS a prescription painkiller like Vicodin and Lortab...and she OBVIOUSLY has to take them to numb herself from the pain and distress that Landon has caused her ;) LMAO! This girl is a reeeaaal pirate hooker.

Jan 21 11 - 5:39pm
Heywood Jablomi

I think I'll wait for her at Moondoggies and do her doggie style over a table on the back patio !!!

Jan 21 11 - 8:11pm

Amy Winehouse, is that you?

Jan 22 11 - 2:45pm
mel gibson

So that's where I left my note.

Jan 23 11 - 6:32am

It's actually probably < 1x a week. Cutting back to 4x a week is officially not cutting back.

Jan 21 12 - 1:07pm

Pretty sure this is who the note belongs to: