This just in: according to official North Korean news agency, there’s a new website in North Korea

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I'd like to bring your attention to probably the greatest website in the entire world. The Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is not fucking around. Their website's wonderfully utilitarian style is only usurped by the genius translation of their copy. To wit:

"The agricultural workers, who regard it as their unshakable faith and a fundamental requirement for their lives to devotedly defend the leader, will intensify the drive for boosting the agricultural production in the spirit of showering fire on the enemies and turn out as one in a just sacred war if an order is issued."

But it's not just how they write about things, it's what they write about. For example, check out one of today's headlines: "New Internet Homepage Opened in DPRK." That is genius. Can you imagine if the Huffington Post updated itself every time a new Tumblr was created?

Anyway — slow news day — the new website, "Korean Dishes," created by The Korean Association of Cooks, "has a distinctive catalogue for serving housewives' convenience. When a visitor chooses any food material in the catalogue, she can get detailed information about lists of dishes prepared with it and their cookery." That's straight from the official North Korean news source, so, you know, it's true. "The homepage contains multimedia on national and foreign dishes." That's multimedia folks, as in more than one medium. And we thought things were bad over there!

Also in big North Korean media news, a new novel has been releasedMt. Osong tells the story of the "immortal exploits leader Kim Jong Il performed by frustrating all sorts of challenges by the imperialists and reactionaries and firmly defending socialism." In the novel, hero Kim Jong Il climbs a mountain and finds some kind of sword. Notably, the mountain has over 150 turns with sharp cliffs! President Barack Obama's record for mountain climbing sits at a lowly Western 126. 

If I change my hometown on Facebook to Pyongyang, that's as good as defecting, right? Because holy shit I want to go there.