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Judge rules Twitter stalking is a constitutionally-protected right

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This really is not okay

Finally, some proof that all those hateful tweets you've been directing at Brent Spiner aren't as creepy as they sound. Granted, they're still disturbing, but not illegal! Today a judge ruled that although Twitter stalking may be "uncomfortable," it's a constitutionally protected right.

The ruling came after William Lawrence Cassidy, the man every internet public service announcement has cautioned you to avoid, posted over 8,000 "menacing" tweets directed at a Buddhist religious leader named Alyce Zeoli via pseudonyms. Cassidy tweeted gems like "Ya like haiku? Here's one for ya. Long limb, sharp saw, hard drop" — a tweet whose least offensive quality is that it isn't actually a haiku.

In his ruling, the judge assigned to Cassidy's case reasoned that while the tweets were definitely threatening, Twitter is an anonymous public message board, so it's all good: 

"While Mr. Cassidy's speech may have inflicted substantial emotional distress, the government's indictment here is directed squarely at protected speech: anonymous, uncomfortable Internet speech addressing religious matters." 

So tweet away, ya maladjusted jerks! Just make sure Brent doesn't catch you going through his trash again — that's trespassing no matter how you slice it.