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Links: Apple “geniuses” not allowed to say “unfortunately”

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Gawker brings us a portrait of life as an Apple "Genius" that makes life at an Apple Store sound a little bit more like a Kim Jong-Il "re-education" video. My favorite tidbit? Apple employees aren't allowed to use the word "unfortunately" in their customer interactions, instead having to rely on the charmingly evasive "As it turns out," which I intend to start using in all of my rent-related dealings with my landlord. 

Look, activism is hard. You have to look up statistics online, then assemble your protest materials, then sweat on the streets with the poor people while you post your opinions — it's just a whole… thing. So it's great that now there's a mail-order set of stencils that will allow your shrill, generically anti-whatever opinions to be splashed colorfully over whatever wall you deem least likely to result in legal action against you, because, like, I really can't afford to lose my internship right now, man, my dad would totally kick my ass.

Living in New York and filling my lungs with the sweet, sweet air of self-satisfaction each morning (oh wait, that's bum urine), it's hard to remember why so much of the country hates New York. Oh wait, now I remember.

It's hump day — nothing to get you through the rest of the week like a Clarence Clemons saxophone solo. Or five of them. Am I wrong in thinking Nebraska would have been enlivened just a bit by some sax solos? Yes, I probably am.