Newt Gingrich had some choice words for the President regarding Libya, specifically, that Sarkozy led the response because Obama was too busy filling out a March Madness bracket. One wonders whether, if he hadn't said something about basketball, everyone would have called Obama a bad patriot.
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania was caught with fifty-four bags of heroin, thirty-one empty heroin bags, eight and a half prescription pills, and fifty-one dollars and twenty-two cents cash in her vagina. Take a second. I'm sure she had a good reason to do this. For instance, the heroin apocalypse is coming and she was building a heroin-bunker in there.
The loud, greasy dudes from YouTube's "Epic Meal Time" finally get some national recognition from an appearance on The Tonight Show. Who cares if this could single-handedly undo all the work of countless people fighting for a healthier America? You know you would rather eat three-foot fried-chicken sandwiches and die two weeks from now, anyway.
For all you hopeless male Hitch fans out there, here's a list of rom-com clichés that fool you into thinking you can run into a wedding mid-vow and steal back the woman of your dreams.
Everybody watches porn. So, in-depth research about the subject could definitely teach a lot about human sexuality. Go take a look at this comprehensive survey on pornography habits and fill it out. Preferably by yourself, hunched over a computer in a basement, just for authenticity's sake.