Links: Michael Fassbender is a giant lump of corned beef

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Beefcake, prime cut, cock, sausage dick, thick salami, young patty… um, muscular, famous men are often compared to meat products. We don’t merely objectify them; we foodify them. Remarking on this tendency, Slate has created this lovely graphic of famous men and the cow parts that best represent them.

So, yes, men are often compared to cow parts, but who knew there was also a trend in contemporary photography of turning cows into women? The question is: do you think our livestock fashionista here is a Carrie, a Samantha, a Charlotte or a Miranda?

The Frisky speaks out about Rush Limbaugh calling a female sexual health advocate a "slut" and, in case anyone needed a synonym — thanks Rush — a "prostitute."

Susan Sarandon has made another appearance on 30 Rock, continuing her seemingly endless career as a versatile character actress within the ILF genre. (She’s been a MILF and a TILF for the entirety of her career, and maybe someday soon, she’ll make the smooth transition into GILFhood — that is, if Queen GILF Betty White decides she’s worthy of indoctrination.)

Because everyone cares, here’s Ke$ha’s new hairstyle, belonging to the burgeoning fashion movement we call "armadillo-chic."

If you can’t figure out whether the soggy, drippy, amorphous transparent thing under your bed is an old piece of plastic wrap from a forgotten cookie, an old dental dam from a forgotten visit to the love dentist, or the ghost of an old promise to keep your room clean, this article on overcoming your fear of spring cleaning might be uplifting. 

As a nice pre-weekend ego-boost, watch this sad (like harpooned-whale sad or baby yoga sad) video of Lindsay Lohan sucking up to Jimmy Fallon and flounderingly hiding her brokenness as she explains how she booked her upcoming SNL gig.