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Today news broke that Newt Gingrich will officially announce his intent to run for President this week. This news is confirmation of his perceived interest, and fleshes out what the GOP pool may look like come next year. I just can't wait for this guy to try to run on "values."
In celebration of Nasty Newt putting his turtle in the race, here are "The Ten Most Important Things Newt Gingrich Has Ever Said." My favorite quote: "It's going to be a bummer if Mars turns out to be like us." You're right, Newt. It'd really suck if decades of NASA research were completely wrong and there was a dude just like you walking around on Mars.
Speaking of NASA, they only have two shuttle launches left and, apparently, they have no plans of even taking applications for more astronauts. So, it is time for you to take a long, hard look in the mirror and decide whether or not you want to take up Russian and move across the world just so you can be an astronaut. Here's a flowchart to help you with your decision.
And finally, some sad news for fellow lovers of words, the power they possess, and the points they can gain you in a rousing game of Scrabble. The official Scrabble word-list now contains words like "innit," "thang," and "Myspace." Not classy, Scrabble. Not classy at all.