Links: a much-needed reconsidering of the Olive Garden Lady

Grimes's video for "Oblivion" is an artful homage to Madonna’s classic chief-d'oeuvre, “Gimme All Your Luvin'.” 

In the contest for sexiest photo of the week, Jessica Simpson’s bun in her bare oven is trumped by these gastro-pornographic miracles. It’s okay to have adulterous thoughts while in a closed relationship so long as it's about phallic ham, right?

Now, all of these men (who you probably had a crush on) look like your father.  But your father probably didn’t commit statutory rape or overdose on, like, everything. 

Cirque du Soleil’s Michael Jackson THE IMMORTAL — which seems to have gracefully sidestepped being the pedophiliac-circus equivalent of It — is the highest-grossing concert tour so far this year. 

Madonna sucks up to her gay fan base by having her gay fan base suck on one another near/around/on/(in?) her in her newest video.

The effect of the big, bad solar storm: your sexts might get sent to your mother or Sir Francis Drake or — God forbid — to no one at all. Plus, beautiful shit like this happens. 

Jezebel takes an obvious — but perhaps needed — cultural relativist stance on "the Olive Garden Lady" — the snarkily rechristened Marilyn Hagerty.