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Links: Things happened this week

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Sure, this seems like an adorable video of "kittens waking up from a nap," but the second you hear the pervert lurking behind the camera libidinously chuckling and making kissing noises, the whole thing suddenly reeks of sexploitation.

The Jews have had it bad in the past. Anne Frank is the hackneyed symbol of “Jews having it bad.” Ergo, if I say something like “the misfortune of Anne Frank,” what immediately comes to mind is “victimization during the Holocaust,” not “victimization in posthumous Mormon baptism.” But perhaps the latter should come to mind, as Anne Frank is now a nonconsensual Mormon. So, if you’re a an old Jew, a young Jew, or, like, a Middle Jew, and are as worried as I am that the Grim Reaper will someday appear as a Big Love character and splash Joseph Smith’s holy water on your cold, dead face, it might be advised to lay a protective ring of booze, Starbucks, and sodomy around your grave.

The National Enquirer published photos of Whitney Houston’s corpse under the headline of “The Last Photo.” But if we can predict anything based on the Enquirer’s knack for filth and surprise, unless Whitney was buried in a vault, it seems eerily plausible that this actually won’t be the last photo.

For the few of us who see klutzy romcom characters as justification for our own klutzy tendencies, here’s a list of hopeless cases whose examples we’d all be better off ignoring.

Time magazine’s somewhat odd new patchwork-of-Latinos cover featuring a medley of Latinos having nothing in particular in common besides looking “Latino” actually features one Latino who isn’t Latino at all, but rather Chinese.

We’ve all been expecting it for a while, but it’s finally happened: the merger between Zagat and the NYPD is now official.