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Listen: “Don’t Touch My Junk,” the slow-jam inspired by airport security

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image of a naked man body scanner tsaPersonally, I have no problem with people seeing me naked. And I'm certainly not afraid of someone viewing an abstacted, metallic-hued outline of my body in which I look like Alex Mack in the seconds before she morphs into a puddle of molecules.  

Yet, the internet has been abuzz recently with reports of the misuse of full body-scanning machines at various airports and the TSA's purported mistreatment of those who are unwilling to submit to these scans. Last week saw the most-likely-nuts, Libertarian blogger Meg McLain claiming that TSA employees handcuffed her to chair and tore her plane ticket in half after she refused a full-body scan. 

Brian also mentioned that blogger "Johnny Edge" was kicked off his flight and threatened with a $10,000 fine for both refusing the same scan and telling a TSA employee: "If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested." And if I've learned anything from the internet it's that no viral video persists long in this world without someone feeling compelled to remix it. So I submit to you the slow-jam version of "Don't Touch My Junk." At least we can all laugh at our eroding personal privacy.