Man creates social networking site to deal with Jessica Alba breakup

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Chris Lakkees seems to have a lot going for him, but he's haunted by his past. It seems that Chris dated a certain actress of Danish/French Canadian/Mexican extraction on and off for five years during high school. And that cute girl named Jessica Alba turned out to be "Jessica Alba."

Lakkees hasn't spoken with Alba in years, saying "I met her at fourteen, we stopped talking when we were nineteen. We weren't always together. She was [away] shooting." He met his first love in an acting class, and ended up taking the homeschooled Alba to the prom at his all-boys school. But alas, it was not meant to be. And no, Lakkees does not have a voodoo doll of Alba's Hollywood producer husband, Cash Warren. To cope with losing Alba, he took a different route instead.

Lakkees created a social-networking site called, whose purpose is to help prevent avoidable break-ups between feuding couples and other concerned parties. He believes that if such a site had existed when he and Alba were dating, they might still be together today. (Which sounds like wishful thinking to me, but okay.) This is how it works:

  • Create an account first or login with any major social network account.
  • Create a trial.
  • State your side and invite the other person to state theirs.
  • Choose to remain anonymous or put it all out there.
  • Invite witnesses, share YouTube video evidence, screen jurors, even pick a prize that the loser should owe you if you win.
  • Let the court of public opinion decide who is right. The person to get the majority of 100 votes wins the case.

"Hot Trials" on the site include the standard boyfriend/girlfriend tiffs, but also cases such as a mother pleading with her daughter to refrain from casual sex and drug use, as well as two male roommates fighting over whether one of them is gay. I hope creating the site is cathartic for Lakkees, but dude, Jessica Alba!