Man live-tweets some couple’s break-up in Burger King

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Andy Boyle, a Boston Globe web designer with a dry sense of humor, was enjoying a meal at a Boston Burger King on Monday when a young couple dining at that same fine establishment began to create, as they say, a "scene." Relationship dirty laundry was publicly aired, as BK patrons were subjected to a loud round of marital bickering. Instead of merely finishing his meal and pretending not to listen, Boyle swiftly jumped on the opportunity to bang out a few tweets to his 3,500-plus followers at the time.

Boyle's blow-by-blow account of the tiff numbered thirty tweets in all, beginning with: "I am listening to a marriage disintegrate at a table next to me in this restaurant. Aaron Sorkin couldn't write this any better." Boyle then reveals a possible source of their domestic strife: "These kids must be 21, tops. His main complaint? She doesn't clean the dishes when his mom asks her to."

Boyle goes on to paint a picture of a relationship on the ropes, in an almost Raymond Carver-ish voice. We learn at one point that U2's "Beautiful Day" ironically begins to play over the loudspeakers. More scenes from a disintegrating marriage are described. Boyle tweets: "Why did you even love me?" he asks. "Because I loved you," she responds. "Loved me?" We all notice the past tense." The incident ends on an ambiguous, unresolved note: "She comes back in. She apologizes. He shrugs. They walk into the vestibule and he sorta hugs her. They depart." The whole thing is Storified here.

It's weird that this is a national news story, and that I'm writing and thinking about this. It also seemed weird in March when Donald Glover live-tweeted a couple getting busy at a Bank of America ATM. But this live-tweeting of mundane events will soon not be considered weird at all, if it isn't already. Before you know it, an entire novel supposedly documenting someone else's private moments in real-time tweets will be written, and the author of that novel will most likely be Nicholson Baker. It definitely won't be Boyle, who wrote, "I want my 75 new followers to understand that I don't regularly live tweet failing marriages at Burger King."