Megaupload co-founder Mathias Ortmann was released on bail from a New Zealand jail today. With a bank account brimming at just over $20 million, Ortmann is probably in better spirits than his former partner, Kim Dotcom (yes, he changed his name), who remains in jail. (Hopefully Mr. Dotcom is still following his dreams of file sharing in the clink by helping inmates share shoddily written love letters on toilet paper with one another. That's a pretty solid guarantee of protection.) Not that he should feel too secure about that $20 million right now.

One of the conditions of Ortmann's bail is that he's banned from all corners of the internet — no 4chan, no Reddit, no Wikipedia, and no Facebook. This, of course, leaves him doomed for a lifetime of playing Solitaire and rekindling his love for the utterly confusing Myst. What does one do with a life sans internet? My first choice would be circumnavigating planet Earth and learning about foreign cultures, while the second would be suicide. Ortmann may get to do at least half of the former; the FBI is trying to use international law to extradite the four Megaupload defendants to trial in the United States. If only Ortmann could use his precious internet to buy a private island, and then a helicopter to escape to same!

Commentarium (2 Comments)

Feb 16 12 - 2:24pm

most ludicrous punishment ever. A law against file sharing didn't exist when they started doing it, because nobody knew what the fuck file sharing was! Banned from the internet? Jail time!? Wtf. He didn't kill anybody. You can't (shouldn't ) be able to punish someone when the law is created just to carry out that punishment.

Mar 17 12 - 3:24pm

OTHER PEOPLE were using his business for other than intended. You don't sue Toyota when a driver breaks the law in a Prius, or prosecute 7-11 for selling papers to someone who uses it to smoke pot, do you? Ridiculous. Dotcom, is the victim of corruption in the US government as influenced by corporate media