New Facebook design will show everyone “the whole story of your life”

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Mark Zuckerberg

Another day, another new way in which Facebook is trying to own and disseminate every single piece of information about you as efficiently and creepily as possible. You know, the usual.

At yesterday's F8 developer's conference, Mark Zuckerberg gave a rundown on Facebook's new features, namely an unsettling new one called Timeline, which more or less summarizes all of your Facebook activity ever and displays it for all to see. Zukcerberg described it as "a new way to express who you are," and a way to collect "the whole story of your life in a single page."  

I'm not sure how much of a mode of self-expression it is if all Timeline does is collect data about you against your will, but maybe I'm just being fussy. After all, as he demonstrated to the crowd, Zuckerberg found a way to express himself by displaying info on everything he'd cooked in the past month, such as "delicious" bison burgers.

Besides raising yet more questions about privacy and the glut of excess information on Facebook, this also raises serious questions about Zuckerberg's eating habits. Has he stuck to his plan to only eat meat he kills himself? I cry foul until his "Timeline" also features live video of his run-in with that bison.