Teenagers now proving their love by sharing passwords

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Teenagers: once you've stopped them from huffing glue behind Arby's, they'll just move right on to exchanging sex acts for incredibly tacky jelly bracelets. You can never keep them out of trouble, and no matter how hard you try, they will always find a way to be terrible screw-ups. (Always.) A few weeks ago we read about how some teens (though probably, like, three) were getting drunk at school using vodka-soaked tampons, but that shit is so over now. What's the newest dangerous activity your teenager is engaging in right at this moment? That's right: she or he is sharing passwords with a significant other.

Yes, instead of "going steady" or getting knocked up or whatever, the new sign of devotion among teenage couples is exchanging the password information to email addresses, Facebook accounts, and cell phones. Apparently in our digital age, it's the ultimate sign of trust among dumb high-school students in lurve:

“It’s a sign of trust,” Tiffany Carandang, a high school senior in San Francisco, said of the decision she and her boyfriend made several months ago to share passwords for e-mail and Facebook. “I have nothing to hide from him, and he has nothing to hide from me.

…I know he’d never do anything to hurt my reputation,” she added.

Well now, isn't that just so cute I want to pick the two of you up and slap you on your faces. If there are any teens reading this: please do not share your passwords with anyone. No, not her. Not her either. Especially not him, oh my God, what is wrong with you? Because as much as you may love and trust someone now — boyfriend, girlfriend, bestie, whatever — shit is fickle in high school, and people can get downright cruel when things get rough. If you don't trust someone enough to date them without having their password, or vice versa, then that is not a functional relationship. (We can reconsider this when you're in your twenties and thirties. Maybe.)

Unless you want the rest of the world to know about your weekly therapy sessions, or those hilariously inappropriate pictures you took with your girlfriend, or how you're worried you might have gonorrhea even though you're not really sure what that is but what is that thing on your junk?, keep your password to yourself. You'll be thankful you did.