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Nightmare fuel: Here’s some photos of enormous fish

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There's a comedian out there who once had a joke — this is the place where a) proper attribution should go (but I heard the joke many, many years ago and possibly in a drunken stupor, so I'm afraid he's going to have to unnamed for now), and b) I'm going to admit that I may be butchering the original wording — about shark attacks.

His point was that there have never been, by proper definition, in the history of the world, any legitimate shark attacks. "When a shark comes waddling out of the water and into your apartment," he (possibly) said, "then that's a shark attack."

I thought about that joke while looking at these photos of insanely large fish, properly called "megafish," over at the National Geographic website, and I wept, silently. They got everything from an enormous stingray, to the above-pictured 650-pound Mekong giant catfish, to… well, there's a whole bunch. And each one is more nightmare-inducing then the next.

The ocean, amirightpeople? Let's all never go in it again!