A brief, but telling, sexist supercut of edited-down, 50's and 60's-era coffee commercials from the Prelinger Archives is making the rounds today, in all its non-ironic glory. What you get are pre-Starbucks douchenozzle husbands bitching about their wives' lackluster coffee with undisguised, Draperian contempt.
We scratch our heads along with the shaving husband who, after tasting his presumably muddy swill, says, "How can such a pretty wife make such bad coffee?" because, as we all know, a woman's coffee-making ability is directly proportional to her degree of attractiveness. And that first dude there makes you wonder how they even made it to an anniversary. The line "Happiness is a vacation…away from your coffee" sounds like it could be on a t-shirt, and the fellow who earnestly says, "Honey, your coffee just doesn't taste any good" makes it sound almost like a compliment by those standards. They could all be graduates of the Ike Turner School of Spousal Appreciation.
If I could pull a Pleasantville, I would insert myself in the commercials, tell these dicks to make their own fucking coffee, demand they apologize to their wives, then take the petunia lady back to the future and buy her a double venti latte.