This morning, I woke up thinking two things: a) "Gee, it would be great if I had some Morningstar Farms veggie sausage links," and b), "Gee, it would be great if I made it through the day without seeing another fucking 'Shit ______ Say' video." Unfortunately, neither of those things happened. Fortunately, however, "Shit Pat Kiernan Says" did.
For those of you who don't live in the Tri-state area, Pat Kiernan has been the NY1 morning news anchor since 1997, achieving local cult-hero status with the daily segment "Pat's Papers." He's primarily known for his deadpan delivery, and for being super-hot in a smarmy, young Republican kind of way. He is also Canadian (which somehow makes total sense), and he makes weekly appearances on a Swedish television show called "Sondagsparty with Filip and Fredrik" (which makes even more sense).
Although New Yorkers are completely obsessed with Kiernan, the man will clearly not be satisfied until he achieves global domination, and "Shit Pat Kiernan Says" is just one brick on the road to making everyone in the free world feel kinda weird about wanting to blow him. So while you're checking out "Shit Sloths Say" or "Shit Sassy Gay Inuits Say" or "Shit Former Attorney General Ed Meese Says," make sure to add this one to the list.