Watch: Kirk Douglas’ Oscar speech auto-tuned

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So last night's Oscars were a predictable snooze-fest, but never fear: Auto-Tune has come to the rescue! Watch ninety-four-year-old legend Kirk Douglas present the award for best supporting actress as he ogles Anne Hathaway in the most palatable way possible — with blippy beats and mechanical vocals, of course.

The internet practically mandates these sorts of things be made nowadays and rightfully so. Besides, these two minutes trump the lame Auto-Tune montage shown during the actual ceremony. The academy should leave this technology in the hands of the web, the medium that mastered it in the first place.