Watch: “Kristen Stewart” teaches the important art of public speaking

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Kristen Stewart (who may or may not remind you of that girl who reluctantly sneaks a smoke with the cool girls in fifth grade, or that one chick who's considered hot for field hockey), has a reputation for being awkwardly uncomfortable when accepting awards as herself, Kristen Stewart, which happens pretty much on a daily basis. Some people actually seem to feel bad for this young, attractive, multimillionairess each time she's compelled to spend a few seconds at a cheesy podium wishing she were anywhere else.

Which is naturally why Barely Political would portray the painfully shy K-Stew as a public-speaking guru. It's like if Lindsay Lohan were to write Straight Edge For Dummies or something. The satirical video exemplifies the curious Kristen Stewart public-persona backlash that has sprung up, fomented by what James Wolcott refers to as the Twilight star's "affected emo shtick." With the news that Stewart has dropped out of her mother's (Jules Mann-Stewart) directorial debut, K-11, where she was rumored to be playing an autistic, transgender prison inmate, K-Stew fans could use a laugh right about now, even if it's at the expense of their girl.