Watch Ted Allen plug new book Pretentious Foodie Bullshit in Onion parody

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Leave it to The Onion to say with a straight face what most people really feel deep down about foodies and their overly precious approach to cooking, but are too polite to express.

In a sneak peek of Friday's episode of IFC's Onion News Network, Chopped host Ted Allen joins chipper, Stepford-y "Today Now!" hosts Jim Haggerty and Tracy Gill to talk about his (fictional) new book, Pretentious Foodie Bullshit, demonstrate how to make some "fussy little foodie dishes for you and all your asshole friends," and offer such helpful tips as, "It's very important to choose the most expensive fish you can find for some vague environmental reason that you can then pair back to your faux-intellectual gaywad dinner-party guests."

However Allen truly feels about pureed baby turnips, he shows he's a good sport by doing the segment, which basically makes a mockery of his livelihood in under two minutes. Perhaps it really is liberating to admit, under the guise of comedy, that sometimes the culinary Emperor isn't wearing any clothes.