PERSONAL ESSAYS



la Cruz" WIDTH="274" HEIGHT="125" BORDER="0">











    Wine comes in at the mouth

    And love comes in at the eye;

    That's all we shall know for truth

    Before we grow old and die.

    I lift the glass to my mouth,

    I look at you, and I sigh.


      
-- William Butler Yeats, "A Drinking Song"



I like
white boys. I'm Filipino, but every boy I've bedded has been white. And with few exceptions,
my lovers have been white in the whitest sense of the word: conspicuously light-haired and

light-eyed. Some of them were so white they were almost translucent.


    

Unfortunately, my lust for the blond male specimen of the Caucasian race isn't quite as purely
motivated as a drawn-out Yeatsian sigh over a glass of wine. Nor can I readily dismiss this
interracial provocation simply as a "natural predilection," as did white guy Peter Norton of Norton
Utilities when he famously discussed his "powerful" attraction to black women in a New Yorker
profile. I could never let myself off the hook that easily. It's taken me years to understand
my particular inclination and all the nagging, unwarranted shame and guilt that accompany it.


    

Of course, I'm not the only one with a white-guy thing. Asian-American women are out-marrying at
a growing rate -- almost 40 percent of us will marry men who don't come close to looking like our
fathers and brothers. It's a thorny and distressing issue: a triumph of assimilation and acceptance
on the one hand, a sign of self-loathing favored by Asian social-climbers on
the other. It's even birthed a new pejorative: Asian girls who like white men are called "Whiggies"

or "White-Guy Groupies," and are roundly despised for their low self-esteem and conspicuous
materialism, all of which is considered part of the "right equals white" way of thinking.


    

Fair enough. My own first dalliance with the Anglo-Saxon archetype was a viewing of the
movie The Sound of Music. One look at those preternaturally adorable blond boy-children
singing Austrian folk songs and frolicking in the green hillsides of Western Europe and it was all
over. Nicholas Hammond (later television's Spiderman), who played fourteen-year-old Friedrich Von
Trapp, with his angular nose, high cheekbones, confident mouth, skinny knees and pale, porcelain
skin, imprinted a sustained, politically incorrect desire in me for such boys that I've come to
both nurture and decry.


    

I grew up in the Philippines, a country at once embittered and enthralled by its colonial
past. We love Americans the way SM slaves love their masters -- with a perverted need both to
consume and be consumed by them. I was ten years old when I realized the full extent of this
national kowtowing, this post-colonial inferiority complex. Standing in line at a department store,
my mother and I noticed the cashier laughing and conversing with the customer ahead of us in line.
This friendliness was out of proportion to her job -- although most Filipinos are polite, they are
not especially gregarious. When it came to be our turn, she hardly said a word, merely packed up our
purchases and sent us on our way. I was curious to see who had deserved such courtesy not afforded
us, and wasn't surprised to see the tall form of a blond American tourist, handsome and sunburnt,
walking out the door while the besotted salesclerk looked wistfully in his direction.


    

Growing up in Manila, I developed requisite crushes on my peers, Mestizo lads with mixed
features, or boys of a Moreno bent with dark skin and impossibly white teeth. My heart has even

palpitated for slim Hong Kong waiters and Japanese flight attendants. Yet I understood these to be
trivial passions, which were subsumed, in any event, when we moved to the United States the year I
turned thirteen. Suddenly, Friedrich Von Trapp wasn't just an inaccessible icon on a movie screen,
but a reality of bounteous blond promise everywhere I looked. Friedrichs on skateboards, Friedrichs
trolling at the mall, Friedrichs ignoring my hangdog wallflower presence at the Catholic high school
mixers I attended, under the foolish notion I would "meet somebody." The only boys who asked me to
dance were Chinese, and pimply.


    

It wasn't the robust, golden-haired athletes of football fame and high school glory that I
wanted to meet either. My particular fetish was for the ruddy-cheeked preppie: skinny arms, chicken
legs and an awkward slope of hunched shoulders upon a thin, skeletal frame. Pretty-boy scholars with
wire-rimmed glasses and sparse pubic hair. Pseudo-British, aristocratic cheeseheads emblematic of
Ralph Lauren advertising.


    

My own typical Filipino family actively encouraged this Caucasian veneration. We paid rapt
attention to the progress of one particularly good-looking American family in our neighborhood,
whose yearly Christmas cards chronicled their children's growth from cherubic angels of baby fat and
cereal-box charm to sleek teenagers of the 90210 mold. It was silently agreed upon that the pinnacle
of genetic success was embodied by the sweet-smiling Thompsons -- Brian, Amber and Caitlin -- who
personified a wholesome American beauty we longed to share, but never could.


    

"If I ever have a blond grandchild," my father would declare at the dinner table, "with blue
eyes. My god! I will go home to the Philippines to show them all what a de la Cruz can look like!

Can you imagine?" My father was exaggerating slightly, but in any event, the message was clear:
marry well, and marry white. I didn't need much persuading.


    

However, in the dutifully "forward-thinking" and multi-cultural college environment in which I soon
found myself, I cultivated a nagging conscience about these yearnings for white American men. The
ferocious pride I developed as an angry minority student in the privileged confines of an ivory
tower institution was at odds with my sexual preference. When I saw Asian women with blond
boyfriends, I felt nothing for them but contempt mixed with jealousy, and I hated myself for it. I
especially didn't want to fall into the ridiculous stereotype making the rounds among titillated
co-eds at the time: "The reason Asian women are attracted to white men," proposed an article in the
San Francisco Chronicle's Sunday magazine, "is because white men are the sexual equivalent
that black men are to white women: bigger and better."


    

Yet what truly horrified me about my sexual prejudice was how incredibly banal and predictable
my secret crushes turned out to be. It seemed all the Asian women on campus were pre-programmed to
like the same exact specimens that I did: inoffensive white men who exhibited a nauseating blandness
of feature, dress and character. We didn't want Mel Gibson. We wanted Melvin Milquetoast. Determined
to deny myself such plebeian and politically questionable pleasures, I spent the better part of my
college years alone.


    

Contrary to conventional wisdom, I didn't hate Asian men, but in truth, I didn't particularly
want to date them either. In my defense, the two Asian men I did find attractive -- one a Filipino

hottie on the swim team, the other, a Japanese fencer -- both had blond shiksa girlfriends. Because
I felt so uneasy about pursuing white boys and so blasé about dating Asian guys, I compromised and
developed crushes on light-skinned Latinos in order to appease both my libido and my discomfort.
Still, my white-boy lust wasn't completely broken, since the Mexican and Puerto Rican boys I dated
impressed me with their striking Caucasian features. They all looked Spanish, reminiscent of a
racial caste idolized by Filipinos due to three hundred years of colonial submission.


    

"I don't know why you're so guilt-ridden," Madelyn, my college roommate, said to me once when I
was angsting predictably. "I'm looking forward to my Amerasian children even if I don't have a
boyfriend right now. I mean, I know my husband will be white. Anyway, I think mixed kids look so
cute." She happily described how all her sisters married blond men with MBA's. "I just think it's
natural," she declared, echoing Peter Norton's philosophy.


    

Eventually, I came to realize my self-denial of white-boy love really was just a shallow and
feeble excuse designed to keep me morally superior and sexually frustrated at the same time. I liked
white boys. So what? By accepting my lust for what it was -- a combination of post-colonial longing,
Hollywood myth chasing and social conditioning for mainstream acceptance, compounded by my own
internal penchant for skinny, pale men -- I was finally able to achieve a modicum of sexual
gratification. I started dating the pale, reticent English majors who fired up my overheated

imagination (and duly discovered that most of them were gay -- which is another issue entirely).


    

Still, even after I finally got the sexual preference right, it wasn't easy. Although I had
made peace with my own motivations for crossing the color barrier, I still harbored a deep
skepticism for the motivations of the partners I found in my bed. I suspected most white men who
dated me of being Asian fetishists, especially when I became an active participant in the
Sino-Semetic cliché: the Upper West Side pairing of the liberal-minded white Jewish male with the
liberal-minded Asian femme. I wasn't about to fulfill anyone's pseudo-bohemian Oriental fantasy.


    

Today, I'm dating a man who shares my interests and my bed. He's the first person I've been
with for whom color isn't an issue at all. He'd never dated an Asian girl, and when we're together
I don't feel he's a socialized response, a politically incorrect condition or a mythological ideal.
He's simply the man I love. And my love for him has helped me understand the sentiment of Yeats'
poem -- looking at him is enough to invoke waves of pleasure and happiness. Then again, he is
white. And blond, no less. Sigh.







©1998
Melissa de la Cruz
and Nerve.com

Commentarium (36 Comments)

May 16 98 - 12:00pm
RY

I am a Chinese-American, to be politically correct. I am engaged to a white guy, and I didn't go out with him because he is white. We have the same interests and are very much alike. I think families that want their children to marry outside of their race because they think they are marrying better have issues of accepting their own culture. Women that want mixed children because they think they are better looking (whether it be black, white, whatever) need to get a life -- that's NOT why you have kids. Just about everything is based on race; does love have to be?

Jun 20 99 - 12:00pm
FG

So I'm hispanic, I read the white guy groupie story and was dumb found. I could see her point. I've always liked white boys but wasn't sure if it was personal preference or cultural pressure. It took me awhile but I figured it out. Its all personal preference for me. See in the hispanic culture the more indiginous looking you are the lower you tend to be in the caste system. And even though I'm what you'd call a white hispanic my eyes are still dark, so is my hair, and guess what I tan. Its sad to think that for many hispanics its still a matter of skin color. I'm not racist in any direction and therefore find this hard to comprehend. So why do I like white men? I have yet to figure this part out. Maybe they are as exotic for me as I am for some of them. Currently my boyfriend is a pure breed German. And we get into playful fights of how we want our kids to look. He will argue that he wants a spicey latin daughter. And I will argue that I want a 6''7 hockey player, built like him. So its not a matter of better its a matter of personal taste.

Aug 25 99 - 12:00pm
MH

You are experiencing OCD ... obsessive compulsion disorder.... it is not unusual... and it is chemically driven..... it varies with intensity from individual to individual.... a close cousin is depression... depression, obsession, love , lust , addiction, smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, all share the same natural body chemistry... body chemistry determines most of our behaviour

Aug 25 99 - 12:00pm
MH

You are experiencing OCD ... obsessive compulsion disorder.... it is not unusual... and it is chemically driven..... it varies with intensity from individual to individual.... a close cousin is depression... depression, obsession, love , lust , addiction, smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, all share the same natural body chemistry... body chemistry determines most of our behaviour

Aug 30 99 - 12:00pm
JP

Interesting, Melissa takes an entire article to sensitively explore, explain and rationalize to us the kind of men, white, that she is attracted to, but then summarily dismisses in one sentence white men with the mirrored attraction to Asian women as "fetishists". Her lack of empathy & generousity call into suspicion any understanding she claims toward interracial/intercultural attraction due to her arrogance & egocentricity. Translated simply: the author is immature, without full understanding and leaning on her bias. This piece is just a more recent, currently fashionable stage of denial, since she is obviously so inherently superior to those male "fetishists".

Sep 26 99 - 12:00pm
M.R

hi there are you single if so email me on martin"mrudley.freeserve.co.uk if you want to talk more email me

Oct 17 99 - 12:00pm
RUS

Very disturbing. It sounds like a (small) part of my Filipino self speaking. I, too, am very well aware of Filipinos' love-hate relationship with America (particularly) and Spain. It sounds like the author is smart enough to recognize the white-is-beautiful propaganda of the colonizers, HOWEVER, I don't think she's prepared to resist the continuing colonization (or neo-colonization, call it what you will) of her mind; it's amazing to see that decades after physical colonization has ended, the colonization of the mind still continues. Note, too, that Hispanic culture, equally victimized by Spain, has a preference for the fair-skinned. It's really sad that instead of using her intelligence to counter colonizer/white propaganda she succumbs to it helplessly like an irritating 12-year old schoolgirl. Personally, it would be much easier for me to just say, "Ohhhh, blond boys are divine." but I am aware that I have been brainwashed FOR CENTURIES by way of my brainwashed forefathers (with all due respect). I know too that present day Western media is still overwhelmingly white while Asian men are alarmingly absent. To be more precise, I know that every time I see Brad Pitt, part of my attraction to him might be biological BUT another part I'm sure has been continually pounded on my head by a colonized culture. The key thing in my opinion is balance. I could counter white propaganda by actively hating any white image but I know that's as worse as white racism on non-whites. Personally, I find all races/ethnic groups of men to be attractive: in fair-skinned Asian men (which is what I am--yes, I'm gay), I like their relatively lean bodies and the erotic contrast of pale Asian skin to the blackness of their hair (body hair included); I like the sinfully dark and shiny skin and seeming natural muscularity of black men; the almost-primitive hairiness and dark eyes of Latinos; the earthy sensuality of brown-skinned Asians/Pacific Islanders/Hawaiians; and the slightly exotic quality/'otherness' of blue-eyed blondes and dark-haired whites. Currently, a 'special friend' (ehem) of mine is blond and blue-eyed, kinda Baywatch material. However, unlike Ms. De La Cruz I don't go oooh-ing and ahhh-ing over him just because he's blonde and blue-eyed white boy. I simply like him 'coz he's a beautiful boy. :) This has always been one of my major personal issues. If anybody wants to further discuss this, I'm at rustyboy1@hotmail.com.

Oct 24 99 - 12:00pm
rca

thank you. loved the article. i am also filipino rasied (unconsciously) that "white is right". it was great to know someone out there experienced the same aguish of guilt, contempt, etc of dating/lusting after white men, especially since i've become more aware of this feelings.

Dec 18 99 - 1:00pm
pure

very very good article. I originally read the article in a forum in www.yolk.com. I wrote a lengthy reply to it. Check it out if you could and let me know what you think. Great work!

Sep 05 01 - 11:17pm
MP

This is pretty funny!

Sep 06 01 - 12:03pm
MP

...O.K. Actually you were right on the money!
"I Feel Ya Grrl!"Skinny white boys are an over looked treasure!Yea muscles are nice.Especially if your needing some help around the house.("Fix my car bitch!")
But a nerdy,sensitive(in a Jeff Buckley Kinda way.
Not a "Boy in the Plastic Bubble" kinda way.)skinny white boy with a HUGE brain(YES!I'm a size queen!!) get me all weak and dreamy eyed everytime! *sigh!!*
I'm dreaming of the day Adrian Brody comes marching to my door.Wearing nothing but those cute Union Jack briefs he had on in "Summer of Sam!"
O.K... so I need a little reality check? Like tryin to win this wrestling match with my demons ain't trouble enough?!
(One looks like Jude Law.The other looks like Heuy P. Newton.) "Aarrggh!"
Later Grrlfriend!!

Dec 10 01 - 4:04pm
FU

I myself am a white-guy groupie. But I think you take this too seriously. I like white guys, but I don't think asian males are not romantically appealing. This complex that you have to repulse from asian men is probably a stem from the media's influence (as your white man complex is stemmed from). Maybe you should give asian men a chance.

Mar 10 02 - 11:35pm
VMR

truly sad piece exposing and accepting your own self-hatred. I wonder how you can be comfortable and resigned to the fact that you feel your features are less attractive than a white woman's because she has Caucasian features. Also, will you think of your future daughter as less attrative than if your (presumably white) husband had married a white girl instead of you? Something to think about-- how pretty will you think she is if she ends up inheriting mostly your non-white features? what does this say about your overall mindset??

Mar 18 02 - 5:30pm
VMR

Melissa- you say: "I think that it is creepy for WMs to only want to
date AFs . It comes across to me as a form fetishism or racist. These are
the same guys who would go on a Philippine sex tour; patronize a Korean
massage bar; or whatever (similar) if they could get away with it."

Well here's my question: how is this any different from asian women who
only want to date white men (and, more specifically, NOT asian men)?
Especially considering that most of these asian women have closer cultural
ties with asian men, many if not most grew up around other asian families
in their neighborhood, isn't this an especially extreme form of racism
(against men of their own ethnicity)? Many asian women say they hate the
"china-doll" stereotype of asian women being ultra-feminine, and yet many
asian women are applying variations of this stereotype to
asian and white men: some asian women have told me that asian men are
"weak", not manly enough, effeminite, which is basically applying the same
"china-doll"-type stereotype to asian men. These same women claim that
white men are "more masculine" and stronger, which is clearly stereotyping
white males. Is this not hypocritical? Also on the issue of stereotyping, it has surprised me to find that many asian women believe that American-born asian men who have lived in this country for generations are just as chauvenistic as men straight from asia. What I really find interesting is that several asian women I've dated are very quick to stereotype all asian men based on a FEW bad experiences (e.g., a few asian men are chauvenistic or weak, so it just goes to confirm what they thought all along-- that all asian men are that way). On the other hand, a white man who is chauvenistic is just "one jerk" among a sea of otherwise decent men. I have many american born asian friends, and I find their attitude toward women to be as enlightened as any Ivy-League educated white man I know. Of course I know chauvenistic men, but they come in all races and I would say no more among american-born asian men (asian-born asian men are a different story in my experience). And I speak from loads of experience around asian-asian and asian-white couples. Why are asian women so quick to stereotype asian-american men based on a few bad experiences, but NOT white men?

I have gone out with several Asian women who tell me they have never dated
an Asian man before, which I find VERY surprising. I mean think about how
odd it would be to come across a white woman who has never dated a white
man before- it exists, but it is VERY rare. However, I have found
this trend among many of the asian women I've dated. When asked about it,
many say it is "just personal preference", but when this preference is
shared by a very large percentage of asian women (in some asian subgroups,
marrying a white man is MORE common than marrying an asian one; among all
asian-american women in the U.S., according to the most recent census is
around 40% are outmarrying and almost all to white males; compare this to the 95% of white women who marry other white people). Especially
since it often comes with the mindset of NOT dating asian
males, I think some deeper issues need to be explored. Some asian women
have told me that they are "just more open minded" about dating, that
"love is colorblind", or that they "just happened" to end up with me, however when I find that most of them have never
(or very rarely) dated an asian man or that they exclusively date white
men, I find myself seriously questioning such statements. Of course this is understandable with asians who have grown up without being exposed to other asians, but I find this to be true only in a minority of cases. Most asians I've met have grown up around many other asians in asian neighborhoods, gone to school (esp. college) with other asians, etc.

Some say dating an asian man would be "like dating their brother". How
weird would this sound coming from a white woman-- "I could never date a
white guy because it would be like dating my brother"? It would sound
insane and you never hear it-- why does this mindset exist in asian women?
Where does this type of thinking come from?

Many asian women tell me they like my blue eyes, and also express
dissatisfaction about their own eyes. 3 of the asian women I've dated have
had cosmetic surgery to make their eyes look "less asian". It's the
same thing with asian women who wear colored contacts because they
want a "different look". At first glance this may seem harmless, but
ask yourself JUST HOW OFTEN you see a blue or green-eyed white woman wearing
BROWN colored contacts because she wants a "different look"? Through this
comparison, it is obvious that there is more than just a "different look"
involved here, but rather a need to conform to a white standard of beauty. This makes me wonder something: if these women find asian eyes unattractive on themselves, isn't it logical to assume that they would not be attracted to men with this feature (i.e., they would not be attracted to asian men)? Since this is an ethnic feature common to asians, is this not a form of self-hatred?

Extending this argument further, if asian women don't find asian men as
attractive as white men because of their asian features, then do they also
feel that they are not as attractive as white women? An asian woman
colleague of mine at work shocked me when she recently said of her new
baby: "I'm glad I married 'Bob' so my baby doesn't look so 'Chinkie'". I
was speechless, as I had no idea this mindset existed. Along this line of
thinking, would an Asian woman find her daughter (with a white man) less
attractive if the child inherited more of her asian features? Would an
asian woman think of her child (with a white man) as less attractive than
if the mother had been white?

Some very interesting issues are raised here, and I hope to see some
responses from Asian women. My experiences have been
quite consistent on this issue and, after talking with several (white)
male friends of mine, I'm finding that it is, indeed, very common. In
addition, census stats provide hard statistical evidence that this is
a nationwide trend, and not just my personal experience. Because of all
of this, I am now very cautious when I date asian women-- I don't
want to be with someone who has self-hatred issues going on, and I don't
want to be with someone who wants to be with me just because I'm white
(and, more specifically, because I'm NOT asian).

Now obviously there are exceptions here. I'm not saying that true love
cannot exist between people of different races, and I'm not saying that
asian women shouldn't have cosmetic surgery or wear colored contacts. I'm
just examining possible reasons behind a very clear and statistically-backed trend of asian women dating and marrying white men at an abnormally high rate compared to other races (95% of white people marry other whites). The attitudes of many asian women indicate that love is not colorblind for them. In addition, through my personal experiences and the experiences of (white) male friends of mine, I've found that the attitudes I've encountered are not at all uncommon.

Jun 01 02 - 3:32am
ug

"If I ever have a blond grandchild," my father would declare at the dinner table, "with blue eyes. My god! I will go home to the Philippines to show them all what a de la Cruz can look like! Can you imagine?"

Interesting quote. It definitely sounds like the author's family is ashamed of their appearance/ethnicity. Ashamed of their brown skin, their black hair, their dark eyes. Either you guys are really ugly dark Filipinos, or you have some serious mental issues to deal with.

Jun 29 02 - 1:55pm
T,O

I think many filipinos have an inferior complex , most Asians do ..My father is Asian mostly filipino so i am not full Asian i am also part European (my grandpa is) latina and black ..I prefer white guys aswell at first i realised that i had an infeority complex the whiter the better ..My half Latina mother told me many times to marrie a white men , because they are good loocking and financial secure , my father and mother divorced when i was very young , so i was raised Latin by my mother..Many filipinos i had seen are dark and brown skin it is obviously that they are of negrito(black , native filipinos)descend , but many don't admit it because black and oriental blood is inferior in the philipines these is self hate ..I usually beded white guys Americans and Europeans many had blond hair and blue eyes i had been engaged to a blond hair Polish , German men but it didn't worked out ..I had dreams of having blond hair and blue eyes babies because i thought that was beautifull ..Most non-white people from Asia and Latin America think that white men are loaded with money so they are great catch , financial security is very important , marrying a white men is like wining a lotery ..Fetish or not many white men married white women and they do prefer blond hair , and blue eyes women we like it or not so we are not first in their list..I think many people don't know the meaning of love , people are atracted to each other for the wrong reasons and that is sad..I don't feel guilty for being atracted to white men , but i don't like how they assume because that most Asian women are easy , good in bed , submissive and are cheap whores ..I loock kind off Asian (filipina type) with brown skin i was dating a white men with blond hair and blue eyes i remenber when i went to a restaurant with him a child told his mother that i was beautifull and her mother said out loud" No she is not beautifull she is a damn whore" i was upset and devastated i wished i loocked more Latina sence that incident i was very shame of the way i loock because they assume (white people) that Asian women are nothing but whores and their children are nothing but children of whores i was told these many time ..Every time i see an Asian women with a white men i wondered what are their intentions as well as mine? .First of all they are black , Latina , Native American women with self hate not just Asian women the colonials from Europe created these nonsence about white being better and who doesn't want to loock white? Many filipinos are ignorant about Spanish history many Spaniards were of African Arab descend so if they claim Spanish blood more then Negrito and Chinese blood what this mean? that they are also part African Arab filipinos can't scape black blood is in their genes where do we get brown skin from? my dad is brown skin ..I am begining to like my self more know i acept my mixed heritage (including my grandfather who is a Spaniard , he is my mom's father) , i don't worship white men like i used to although i still prefer white men i had begining to see the they are some good loocking men of all races' that are not white..Love your self more , self hate will make you loock stupid and no one will respect you..

Jun 29 02 - 2:04pm
T,O

Excuse my English because is my second language..Filipinos do hate themselves i had seen filipinos that loock just like Tiger woods and claim to be white , i am not kidding..White is better , marrying a white men is like wining a lotery in their minds..It is nothing wrong being atractive towards some one who loocks different then your race , but it is self hate when you consider them better then you are ..I changed my views about the way i portrayed and worship white men , but it wasn't my fault i blame my mother , culture and the media ..

Nov 18 02 - 1:51pm
ad

i absolutely loved the article, and more importantly the beauty ur picture displayed. U are absolutely gorgeous, and would love to be able to communicate with you in some way. U can email me at baldyalan@aol.com. I hope to hear from you

Feb 17 03 - 4:48am
Jen

How I can relate!

Jun 15 03 - 5:13pm
TC

The article made me leery up 'til the last paragraph:
"I don't feel he's a socialized response, a politically incorrect condition or a mythological ideal," de la Cruz closes. "He's simply the man I love."

She put her fingertip on a phenomenon I noticed
with my first love (who was Asian). With concerted
effort, I could see her _as Asian_. But the most
natural state was seeing her as "simply the one I
love."

It reminded me of the optical illusion called the
"Necker Cube": you can see the cube as protruding
out of the page, or into the page -- though never both
at once. Likewise, you can see someone you're
dating as a peg in an ethnic pigeonhole, or you can
share with your partner simply as a person. The
former is a fetish -- the latter, love.

Jul 24 03 - 3:39pm
JC

Hi
i read through your Page and i have a question, Im a White American Man 44 years old, and iv never been with a Asian Women Before, Please don,t think im Nuts here, i just want to Know, Ok im going to the Philipines in Nov to get married with a 37 year old Filipina, She,s a virgin, from what iv studyed Asian Women are built Smaller than western Women, Meaning their Virgans are Smaller, and Italian men are not Small, i am about 8 inches long and 6 inches Thich, will she be able to take that all on our Wedding night. or will i realy hurt her, im asking you becouse your a Women from the Philippines and maybe you can hepl me, Please understand no Disrespect intended, Thank you for your time Jovannie my Email is PapaActs238@aol.com

May 13 10 - 12:11am
anonymous

i have to agree that 95% of FILIPINO WOMEN....swarm around white men like BEEZ ON HONEY..they want to move up in social ladder and have WHITE SKIN BABIES...they all of a sudden think they are better than other filipinos......THEY WILL NEVER ADMIT TO THIS BUT THEY WON'T HESITATE TO SPREAD THEIR PROSTITUTE LEGS FOR A WHITE AMERICAN OR EUROPEAN!!!!!!!

Oct 19 10 - 2:35am
blue eyed female

Ew. Honestly, when we white / blonde people breed with brown/brown/brown people - you only get brown children. If whites breed with asians, the kids always look asian. Mixed children are always ugly. Sorry, that's life. I wish brown people would stop breeding - you're only breeding UGLY untelligent people. aka our President, while he's "handsome" in a way, he's not very intelligent, he's narcissistic, and just a big failure. Uck.