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This is an inherent problem with the TV date. Being out — where you're unable to really feel each other up — can gradually ratchet up the anticipatory horniness. But sitting on the couch watching television, it's all too easy to start half-assedly getting it on way too far in advance. You risk blowing your wad before prime time is over.
But the TV date is excellent for eliminating awkwardness, especially if you encountered your date electronically and are seeing them face-to-face for the first time. Gary, a twenty-eight-year-old filmmaker in Los Angeles, met a guy online and went to his house for a night of HBO, where it quickly became clear the sexual chemistry wasn't there. They hung out and watched TV all night instead. "We got Thai food and played with his dog," he says. (Gary later met his current boyfriend at a weekly gathering of friends who watch TV together.)
When John, twenty-five, ended up dating a girl who he'd known for years, a TV date helped ease their transition from long-time acquaintances to potential romantic partners. "Alexis and I had gone to the
The best thing about the TV date might be its use as a time machine. |
same high school, had mutual friends, but had never spoken more than four words to each other until we started dating here in New York," he says. Their third date, which they spent watching Law & Order reruns, "was crucial, because it still wasn't clear if all we had was that familiarity coupled with wanting to hook up, or if we were actually interested in each other. So instead of questioning it, we had TV. Repeats on TV no less, adding even more comfort through familiarity."
The best thing about the TV date, however, might be its use as a time machine: it can help you see years ahead, into a potentially snug, boring long-term relationship. I once had a boyfriend where, after several months together, we'd essentially formed a polygamous three-way relationship with Hal Sparks on Talk Soup. The tedium broke us, and we three went our separate ways.
It doesn't always happen that way. Melissa, a thirty-year-old artist who lives in Brooklyn, went on one or two movie dates with a guy a few years ago. "We liked each other a lot," she says. "So he invites me over to watch TV on a Sunday evening. My roommate was like, 'Here it is. Payday. You're getting laid. Pack your toothbrush.' I go over there, and he wanted to watch X-Files. I didn't like the show, but I lied on the phone and said, 'Great! Can't wait.' We watched the show, and then I think the news came on. We'd kissed by this point, and cuddled on the couch during the show and held hands. And that was it.'" Afterward, he told Melissa she "should probably go," and that he'd call her the next day.
"Holy shit. What happened? I thought. And even though he did call the next day, I was weirded out and told him maybe we should just be friends, figuring he wasn't attracted to me. Fast forward to the present day: this guy and I have been married for almost three years. Moral of the story? I think 'TV date' means different things to different people. To my lesbian best friend, it means drive to your date's apartment with a U-Haul full of your shit, because it's on. To my husband, though, I guess it meant, 'Are we able to just be together and chill out?'"
What are they doing today? "Watching way too much TV together. But now at least I'm not lying about which shows I like, and I get past first base. Regularly."
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| ABOUT THE AUTHOR: |
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Will Doig writes for all sorts of fabulous and exciting magazines. He was
raised in Massachusetts and New Hampshire. Today he lives in Brooklyn. |
©2007 Will Doig and Nerve.com |
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