woman: denise richards, who's now been dumped by richie sambora.
what she says about womanhood: by sleeping with her best friend heather locklear's estranged husband, she proved women care more about sex than other women.
moral: women who try to have a little fun, even after suffering years with charlie sheen, should be severely punished.

woman: jessica simpson, who's trying to act sexy to get nick back.
what she says about womanhood: dressing up in an ill-fitting orange dress and wearing a freakish red wig is how women make a pathetic bid to make their ex jealous. nick can't stop singing about jessica.
moral: pathetic games totally work.

woman: janet jackson, who's a "yo-yo dieter" but skinny now because of stress.
what she says about womanhood: women are fickle, and it's bad for the body: yo-yo dieting leaves the skin "susceptible to wrinkling and sagging."
moral: women should worry compuslsively for the sake of their figures.

woman: britney spears, who has "an unplanned pregnancy, a stalled career and a rocky marriage."
what she says about womanhood: for the love of a worthless man, a woman will throw everything away.
moral: when a former sexpot orders "a macaroni and cheese lunch from the hudson cafeteria before attending her fragrance party," you know she's given up.