"isn't the average in the US something 15 or 16?" The average is actually between 16 and 17. So most stories above are average or below. Like 20% of people are still virgins at age 20, and 10% in their later 20s.
Hmm... somehow I think the tone of ni, ja and UR's posts sort of prove my point. There's nothing inherently wrong with being a late bloomer -well there shouldn't be, anyhow. It's not like all people who lose it at 16 have great interpersonal skills at that age either.
Being a late bloomer sucks. I feel like I wasted so much time missing out on something special (not just orgasms, but emotional connections). And it's not like I was waiting or holding out, either. It was just ineptitude. No one really knows this, but I don't think I can ever live it down - to myself. I'm sure it doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone who didn't get a late start, but trust me, it is.
ni: I am getting a late start, having only had a few random hookups; I'm not saying that it doesn't make you feel shitty. I'm saying that at least part of the reason it does is because of this culture we're living in that puts so much pressure on people to conform. I spent years feeling shitty about the lack of sex itself, and then I figured out that it mostly came down to knowing how to develop an emotional connection. I've worked on that, and these days I'm feeling much more confident. I had a great romance this summer, although I had to go back to school before we got to take things to the next level. A lot of people who are late bloomers came from family with emotional issues or who gave them negative ideas about sex, or were sexually abused when they were first starting to experiment. But it's also not all that rare to be a late bloomer. I'm just saying that this world needs more compassion, AND that I find nerve's recent obsession with teen sex stories a bit creepy.
19. Santa Cruz. In my bedroom in the house I was renting with about 8 other people. She was a co-worker cheating on her boyfriend. I wasn't the only guy she was cheating with.
The thing about wanting to sleep with someone is just that; wanting to sleep with someone, to feel that connection between you and all the associated pizazz. Sex is not the goal for me, it's one of the stages.
19. Guy brought me to his room from a party when I was very very drunk. I was pretty introverted/highly self-conscious prior to this, so getting it over with, even if it was in an alcoholic haze with a guy that I find repulsive now, was a good thing. Sex changed me- I'm now comfortable in my body/with my sexuality.
14. Would have been 13 had it occurred a month earlier, thanks to a particularly aggressive girl who took charge when i was clueless myself. I didn't realize at the time this was supposed to be a life-altering experience, but I do recall a sense of disappointment that is wasn't more exciting, which is why my second time wouldn't occur until I was 18, my third when 19, and has remained sporadic ever since.
15 - wish i had waited til i was more mature emotionally... however, i do feel like starting at an early age has made me much more comfortable with my sexuality and more confident in general
I'm female, and was late at 19. It wasn't a conscious decision, or social ineptitude. It just happened that way. I would have liked for it to happen sooner, but I just had some bad luck. I totally agree with EC that Nerve's (and our whole cultures) obsession with teen sex is ridiculous and creepy. as a teenager I was a whole lot more comfortable with my sexuality and my body than most of my friends, including those who had started having sex at 15 and still didn't know where their clitoris was.(and probably some of them still don't) Sometimes its not about being a "late bloomer."
15, on my bedroom floor, with my boyfriend at the time. He was a virgin as well. He later went on to call me a slut and spit in my face for breaking up with him, but was still a good way to lose it at the time.
Commentarium (35 Comments)
that first guy is a hoot : )
My first happened when I was on acid while finger painting fluorescent paint on a sexy lady's wall!!
Not until I was 25 in a hotel in Hampstead, London. So there.
18 in girlfriend's parents' living room...twas one very quiet first time.
21 I'm a man... try to beat that!
"isn't the average in the US something 15 or 16?" The average is actually between 16 and 17. So most stories above are average or below. Like 20% of people are still virgins at age 20, and 10% in their later 20s.
26! *kills self*
Hmm... somehow I think the tone of ni, ja and UR's posts sort of prove my point. There's nothing inherently wrong with being a late bloomer -well there shouldn't be, anyhow. It's not like all people who lose it at 16 have great interpersonal skills at that age either.
23! To an 18 year old! In my bed! He was the hottest I've ever had.
Being a late bloomer sucks. I feel like I wasted so much time missing out on something special (not just orgasms, but emotional connections). And it's not like I was waiting or holding out, either. It was just ineptitude. No one really knows this, but I don't think I can ever live it down - to myself. I'm sure it doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone who didn't get a late start, but trust me, it is.
ni: I am getting a late start, having only had a few random hookups; I'm not saying that it doesn't make you feel shitty. I'm saying that at least part of the reason it does is because of this culture we're living in that puts so much pressure on people to conform. I spent years feeling shitty about the lack of sex itself, and then I figured out that it mostly came down to knowing how to develop an emotional connection. I've worked on that, and these days I'm feeling much more confident. I had a great romance this summer, although I had to go back to school before we got to take things to the next level. A lot of people who are late bloomers came from family with emotional issues or who gave them negative ideas about sex, or were sexually abused when they were first starting to experiment. But it's also not all that rare to be a late bloomer. I'm just saying that this world needs more compassion, AND that I find nerve's recent obsession with teen sex stories a bit creepy.
19. Santa Cruz. In my bedroom in the house I was renting with about 8 other people. She was a co-worker cheating on her boyfriend. I wasn't the only guy she was cheating with.
14. This girls house. She was 16
28, at an old friend's trailer-home.
Low-self esteem and emotional neglect.
Oh, and I hate hipsters.
The thing about wanting to sleep with someone is just that; wanting to sleep with someone, to feel that connection between you and all the associated pizazz. Sex is not the goal for me, it's one of the stages.
Male, 23, Virgin.
24 - and it still wasn't with someone I cared about.
26, still virgin, never had relationship. Should I feel bad about that? If yes, why exactly?
21, Ashland, KY. Wedding Night. He's my one and only...it has been worth the wait.
18, Philadelphia, art school dorm room.
19. Guy brought me to his room from a party when I was very very drunk. I was pretty introverted/highly self-conscious prior to this, so getting it over with, even if it was in an alcoholic haze with a guy that I find repulsive now, was a good thing. Sex changed me- I'm now comfortable in my body/with my sexuality.
14. Would have been 13 had it occurred a month earlier, thanks to a particularly aggressive girl who took charge when i was clueless myself. I didn't realize at the time this was supposed to be a life-altering experience, but I do recall a sense of disappointment that is wasn't more exciting, which is why my second time wouldn't occur until I was 18, my third when 19, and has remained sporadic ever since.
I was going to put my current age but then I realized it hasn't happened yet.
I forgot.
ON SPRING BREAK - 17 & 1/2 - in my GF's single bedroom in Ixtapa, Zijuatenejo, Mexico!!
Virgin at 17! staying that way till marriage!
15 - wish i had waited til i was more mature emotionally... however, i do feel like starting at an early age has made me much more comfortable with my sexuality and more confident in general
I'm female, and was late at 19. It wasn't a conscious decision, or social ineptitude. It just happened that way. I would have liked for it to happen sooner, but I just had some bad luck. I totally agree with EC that Nerve's (and our whole cultures) obsession with teen sex is ridiculous and creepy. as a teenager I was a whole lot more comfortable with my sexuality and my body than most of my friends, including those who had started having sex at 15 and still didn't know where their clitoris was.(and probably some of them still don't) Sometimes its not about being a "late bloomer."
The first time I remember, 15 in in his girlfriend's apartment, man that guy was skinny.
virgin at 20 and still waiting for marriage
Male... 23... worth the wait
20...horrendously shy. getting pretty bored.
23! I'm a guy - she was 26, I told her & then she took me to her place to "solve" that problem.
female, 20, australia-- would've been nice if it had been earlier (i was waaaay ready), but only if it was with the same person it was with <3
15, on my bedroom floor, with my boyfriend at the time. He was a virgin as well. He later went on to call me a slut and spit in my face for breaking up with him, but was still a good way to lose it at the time.
21, to my first and only boyfriend who i am now married to. Not as romantic as it sounds, though.