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My mother's penis is hot pink.
I found it in her drawer when I was six,
underneath her nightgowns,
turned it on and watched it hum
through the orange shag, leaving a trail
like a small aimless torpedo.
After a series of after-school afternoons,
it would die in a fading whir at my feet,
only to be refreshed for play a few days later.
My young single mother:
How many nights — lonely and wanting —
did you go to your penis and find it dead?
How many emergency flashlights, how many
babydolls' backs did you rip open in the fucking dark
searching for just two goddamn batteries with one
orgasm's worth of voltage left?
Let me apologize. While roaring jetplanes
took off around you all day at work,
I was home checking your penis
for power. It was my electric sword,
my magic pen, my microphone,
a neon rocketship, and once, I confess, I even used it
to mix chocolate Quik into my milk.
On the day it was missing, I stripped
your dresser, your closet, the bed,
refolded every panty, nightgown and camisole
to cover my trail. For a good two months,
I'd roll my hand through your underthings.
But your penis was gone.
Now that I'm grown, tell me. I wonder:
Did you take it from me on purpose?
Because, you should understand:
I know I loved it more than you did.
©2003 Carissa Neff and Nerve.com
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Commentarium (24 Comments)
ohmigosh a vibrator poem. how interesting and new!
maybe those drawers need locks, eh?
...lovely
Hahaha!!! For lack of a better word (because of the brain damage suffered from extreme heat in my office) - delightful! I'm gonna be giggling all afternoon now.
beautiful, just beautiful
thanks
This is an absolutly awesome peice.
A young girl, guilt, pleasure, and shame....but that extreem longing to continue which leads you to be an extreemly sexual adult.
I love it.
-K-
This reminds me of all the times my brothers and mother would walk in on me masterbating. I am very lucky I turned into a pro-sexual adult.
ps- no i was never molested, just mercilessly teased!
This is a beautiful peice about a young girls discovery of just how GOOD IT FEELS!!!!
I love it!
This made me feel better.
Thank you, you are beautiful and strong.
this is pathetic. go finder a vibrator instead of writing about one. what does this poem do that a vibrator doesn't. thanks!
that last commentator is an idiot. i liked the poem, even if it's a bit middle schoolish. good one.
no, that last commentator was an idiot. if anybody's listening, go out and read some real poems, like _Pity The Bathtub Its Forced Embrace of The Human Form_ by Mattea Harvey. now that girl rocks!
Not sure if I want top admit it, but that was quite cool
I DUG THIS POEM DEEPLY. GOOD IMAGES AND VERY FRESH. I PICTURED THE SPEAKER IN THE STORY. NEED MORE POEMS LIKE THIS IN CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN LITERATURE. WANT TO READ MORE. GREAT POEM, CARISSA. I KNOW YOU FROM TALLAHASSEE AND FSU.
great poem!
Maybe I read a differnt poem than some of the other readers. I didn't see anything sexual between the author and a vibrator. No shame, no embarassment. It was just a much loved toy (in a non-sexual way). I could visualize the author playing with it, not even knowing what it was, thus making up all kinds of uses for it. Mixing the chocolate milk was hilarious.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Fucking hilarious, and totally original...Mass props to you
where can I buy this great poem?! Is it in a book?
I felt it was rather amateur compared to poetry that has been published in the past. It seems to rely on knee-jerk reactions the reader would have to certain images. The juxtaposition between the non-sexual child and the sexual object seems to cutesy to really make me think this is a well-written poem, and more an attempt at dumbing poetry for the masses. Sorry.
I found my mom's vibrator when I was a kid and didn't know what in the hell it was either. I was thrilled to see a poem about this experience here on Nerve, along with all the sexy stuff. Great images; I could see and feel the scene the poem created. And as far as poetry goes, the language is great. I was entertained, which poetry doesn't do all the time. So, okay, it is "cute." But it's a kid persona. Can you think of any other kid poems about discovering erotica? I was turned on to this poem from a link on adultbackwash.com, who gave it a silver choice rating. So I think a.b. is in the minority here. You should know this, Carissa, and know that we want more of your poems . (my personal favorite was Hot Lunch though.)
Listen to me for a second. Giving up a priceless secret like this should be good. Rewrite it to Penthouse, and you might have an audience.
Peachy! A great title & story & torpedo. . . .
Your writing is simple great, Especially for beginners!
wow, when i was young i found my mothers penis too...
Now you say something