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July 17, 2003
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because it knows that nothing can ever be clean enough, wiped down enough, put enough in its place, buffed and dustless for this, I love it, this slender sleekness masquerading as a cleaning tool, what is not to love about something with such purpose, slim and hard, the heft of it, the glide of its downy underside, the cloth tucked neatly about the rubbery base, the tip ready to burst, to squirt forth quick ejaculations of cleanliness not merely utilitarian and no mere knick-knack, this thing understands that part of me that would antisept the world, order and organize, straighten compulsively, clear clean, color-code and stack everything into piles ready to be touched, gone over, and made like new there is a power in this, this swiffing this nearly effortless polishing, this thing always ready, waiting to be taken out, sheathed and danced across my smooth, hard- wood floors, shooting at my command, a gentle squeeze from my fingers, a clean sweep everything left aglow and just slightly wet
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Commentarium (17 Comments)
It is a joy to see someone articulate the love I feel for Swiffer into a poem of such persuasive beauty. Please send this to the people at Swiffer and you'll make yourself a fortune when they feature it in their next ad. I can see it now: a pert brunette in a sundress and heels, gazing raptly at her freshly swiffered floor and reciting your poem while people across America *rush* to the store to buy their own wetjet. Bravo!
THAT SEALED THE DEAL.
i am buying a swiffer wetjet TODAY.
my god. who knew cleaning could be so fucking sensual. you should send it to all the cleaning associations in the us, because if it's posted on websites or read at annual conventions the consequences for morale would be absolutely orgasm-inducing. also makes the idea of kitchen sex twice as hot. any prior ambivalence on my part has magically disappeared; I am now purchasing a swiffer.
Cole! It's cyn, formerly of Wichita. What a fabulous poem. I hope all is well. It seems it. If you get a chance, send me email at chincha@charter.net. Take care. I forwarded your poem on to lucy and jake.
how could one NOT love a product with a name like "swiffer"? they must have focus-grouped the hell out of that one.
i have a relationship with a clorox ready mop. tis less a poem and more of an epic really. made my morning.
This is a good poem, but that's all it is, good. I have to wonder out of the batch that was sent, if she had poems that were more deserving to be put on this list. Doesn't say too much about the poetry editor at nerve. From this, you guys obviously are getting more crap than good erotic verse. This poem about a dust mop is creative, but is hardly NERVE material. You guys need to dig deeper than this mediocre piece.
GAWD! Why thanks! That was certainly nice!
ohymygod
Great!
fab-u-lous craziness. just read your book (checked it out from our ok alma mater library)--you are doing great work! i'm proud to have called you friend.
Great advertizing ! ! !
i think i am in love with you, swiffer man.
is it just me or are you people getting dumber by the moment? SWIFFER?! For god's sake Nerve, have some self respect! If this appeals to your target audience then there is no hope for this continent!
looking for a twiffer with a swiffer, hoping they both have the wetjet options...
First poem read at nerve and much to my suprise it didn't suck. I'm a real damn poetaster, too--with things in Grand Street/ Fine Madness/ & upcoming in Poetry. The way you made that swiffer ejaculate was a huge turn-on. If you can do that to an inanimate object . . .
This is actualy for your warmup photos. The first one, the anonymous winner, is a shot from Playboy a few years back!
Now you say something