It was an exciting week in the Nerve Dating Confessions, readers - hearts were broken, Facebook pages were stalked, and sexual frustrations played with your heads (if not your loins). But some contributions stood out from the rest. We've chosen five extraordinary confessions and given each the attention it deserves with a unique, sure-to-become highly coveted award. Join us as we honor achievements in the world of sex and dating, with special appearances by vomit, sexy neighbors, and boa constrictors.

Least Likely to Succumb to Crazy Cat Lady-ism:
October 12, 2009, 8:34 a.m.
"I love you. I love your dog. I'm slightly fond of your boa constrictor. I love that you are kind to animals and work to find as many of them homes as you can. However, I HATE your cats. Either they don't sleep with you, or we don't move in together. End of story."

The Award for Most Spectacular Cameo by Reverse Peristalsis:
October 14, 2009, 12:15 p.m.
"We got drunk, went home together, I threw up on him before it could go too far. His girlfriend has the same name as me and we sit next to each other in my lecture class."

Most Likely to Come From a Victorian Potboiler:
October 13, 2009, 12:34 a.m.
"We both write you letters. That is our only commonality. She - the girlfriend who stomped your heart with cleats on who to this day delights in leading you on and giving you false hope. Me - the friend who wouldn't hurt you for any money in the world and is quietly in love with you. I'm not sure I like being in any category with her."

The Heather Locklear Award for Neighborly Conduct:
October 12, 2009, 11:26 p.m.
"I just had a weird Red Shoe Diaries moment with my new neighbor, a strapping young man who decided to swing by my apartment to see if I 'needed any company.' We talked in the doorway, both of us wearing our sexy loungewear. Nothing happened, but it still felt like a moment that only happens on TV or in soft-core porn or something. This apartment complex rocks! It's gonna be just like Melrose Place."

Lifetime Achievement in Dealing With Large Breasts, Assholes:
October 10, 2009, 8:23 p.m.
"Hi guys, I'm thirty-seven years old. By now, I've figured out that you like my big boobs. That's why I wear the low cut blouses - it's for both of our amusement. If you did something besides repeat this fact back to me, you might actually get to see or even touch them. Seriously, get some game!"

Read more - and vie for your own award! - in The Nerve Dating Confessions.