Never mind last weekend's vampires and zombies, readers — Nerve's Dating Confessions show us over and over that the real horrors in life come from our universal quest for love (or a quickie in a Starbucks bathroom). But for every disappointment in your sex life, there's always the chance you'll discover that sex with your pregnant wife just keeps on getting better or your hot student is looking for some "extra credit." You really brought it this week, confessors, and we want to reward you for it.

The First Step Is The Hardest Award:
October 27, 2009, 6:58 p.m.
"If the only time I want to call you is when I've been drinking, does that mean I have to quit drinking?"

The Oleanna Prize in Playing With Fire:
October 25, 2009, 8:20 a.m.
"I can't stop thinking about one of my students. I have never been with a younger man. I think he might be interested, but I am still concerned about making a fool of myself."

The Your Reasons For Joining PETA Are Suspect Award:
October 25, 2009, 4:03 p.m.
"Not sure I can compete with your cat. She's the one you seem to love. You just keep me around cause it's illegal to fuck her... I think I'm dumping you next week — I'm not okay with trying to measure up to something that's not even human."

Most Likely To Seek Revenge On Miss Cleo:
October 24, 2009, 10:28 a.m.
"I stuck with you for as long as I did because years ago, a psychic described you to a T and told me that you would be my last chance."

The I Guess That Explains The Duggars Award:
October 28, 2009, 2:42 a.m.
"It seems like the more pregnant my wife gets the better the sex is. Is this normal? I'm not complaining either way..."

The I Can't Believe I'm Able To Give Out The V.C. Andrews Family Values Award A Second Time Award:
October 26, 2009, 11:18 p.m.
"I recently got royally drunk at a party and shagged my wife's sister. She is better in bed than my wife. I have since slept with her three times. I don't intend to leave my wife for her or break it off with her sister. Basically I just wanted to boast about it. I'm hoping that one day a threesome might happen."

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