It's getting damn cold out there, readers —and as usual, it can also be damn cold in Nerve's Dating Confessions. But it can also be surprisingly warm (and occasionally fuzzy); a quick browse through is sure to call to mind the full spectrum of metaphors relating temperature to emotion. Oh, it can also be pretty hot. So join us this week for possible cougar sightings, curious ticking noises, and the pain of cockblocking criminals.

The Isaac Newton Award For Daily Inertia:
November 5 2009, 05:47P
"Fucking you is about as exciting as brushing my teeth, but I still do both almost every night."

The Mrs. Robinson Award For Repeated Attempts At Seduction:
November 5 2009, 03:00P
"I really don't want to join you at your parents' house for Thanksgiving — your mom freaks me the hell out — but I can't afford a ticket to the left coast to see my family."

Most Likely To Have Been Assaulted By A Giant Spider:
November 3 2009, 02:18A
"Worst Halloween ever. I was one cute fucking bumblebee too."

The At Least He Can't Leave Whenever He Wants Now Award:
November 3 2009, 12:58A
"When your car turned out to be stolen, I immediately became concerned that it meant we weren't going to have sex the rest of your visit. I'm not ashamed of the thought either."

The Speed 3: Get Ready For Rush Hour In Your Chest Cavity Award:
November 3 2009, 12:55A
"I wish you had told me you had a pacemaker kind of device, it was a real boner killer trying to figure out what that ticking noise was, and even more so when I realized what it was."

The Award For Most Likely To Have Attended A Sex Workshop With Megan Fox:
November 2 2009, 03:36P
"No, Megan Fox, my vagina doesn't have power; I do."

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