promotion

Eugene, 25

In my experience, playing Tekken 3 with engineers really impresses them, elevating my status in their minds. What would you use to test the suitability of a possible new girlfriend or boyfriend?
I'd show her an xckd comic with some obscure reference to an old Internet meme and see if she laughs.

I would expect nothing less from an engineer than optimum efficiency, and I assume that you would expect the same from a prospective suitor. What's the most efficient way to get a hot young engineer in bed?
Ask!

I have a really tight-knit group of friends, and my man doesn't seem comfortable around them. How can I help him feel like a true part of my posse?
As you're chatting it up with your buds, you should mention your man throughout the convo and ask him questions that he has to answer to the entire group. That should get him to open up to them and vice versa.

I have a friend who constantly cyber-stalks every promising guy she meets, consequently freaking herself out with what she finds. How can I convince her to stop being so judgmental?
Give her a taste of her own medicine by examining all her online footprints. She'll soon see that they don't wholly represent the real person.

I often ruin the mood during sex by saying inappropriate things, such as "Would you mind not putting all your weight on my stomach? I may upchuck all over you." I want to distract myself by focusing on dirty talk. How should I ease into some down-and-dirty wordplay?
Getting into dirty talk is like getting into a hot tub: You do it a little at a time. I think the best way to start is by vocalizing and putting into words how good you're feeling in that moment. This should encourage your partner to contribute his two cents to the situation.


Sidney, 27

Engineers are adept at selecting the right tools for optimal functionality. What would you put into a first-date emergency kit?
It depends on what we're doing on the first date. If I ever take someone to a waterfall in winter again, I'll bring a first-aid kit and blankets. But if we're talking "in case the date goes really well," maybe fixings for a late-night snack would be in order.

How would you build a strong foundation for a long-term relationship?
I lasted over three years with someone who always flipped the toilet-paper roll the opposite way from how I like it to hang. We constantly joked about our T.P. war. Understanding what is and isn't important to the person you are with is probably the fastest way to build a foundation for a long-term relationship. You need to support them on the things they care about, just as you expect them to support you with what matters in your life. And you need to laugh while figuring it all out.

You engineers always have a contingency plan, right? How should I bail out of an obviously unsuccessful date?
On television, people work out elaborate plans like, "Call me at some predetermined time and if my date blows I'll claim an emergency!" Really, why go to such extremes? If it's not meant to be, cut your losses early. It's entirely reasonable to just tell the person, "Look, this isn't working for me," and end the date. There's no need for helicopters or men in black suits, I promise.

I've just been dumped in the worst way, and am feeling a bit vengeful. Should I give in to these feelings?
It depends what the revenge is. If it's living well, moving on and finding someone who won't treat you like a piece of dirt, then yes. If it involves Saran-Wrapping his car shut in the middle of the night so he's late for work, congratulations! You just sunk to the level of my friend's sixteen-year-old sister. I've had some shitty dumpings, and so have my friends (a six-month relationship ended in a MySpace comment? really?) and I think the best thing to do is just move on. Do you really want to be "that psycho ex" they're telling all their friends about, once you've "had your revenge"?

I'm intimidated by the bar scene, and I freeze up when a girl I'm interested in is surrounded by all of her friends. What's the secret to breaking the ice with a large group of gorgeous gals?
Don't be intimidated! They're probably complaining to each other about the fact that no one is coming over and talking to them! First approach them as a group, introducing yourself, asking how they're all doing and maybe making some more idle chit-chat before bringing the conversation around to the one you like.

What do you look for when choosing your ideal wingman?
Cynicism and a complete and total distrust of the entire human race. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I don't bring out a wingman out for the same reasons men do; my wingman is there to help me cut through all the bullshit that flies around whenever people hit on other people.




Interviews by Steph Auteri. Dating Advice From... appears on Fridays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.