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Dating Advice From . . . Party Planners

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Mark Winkel, 33

www.wandbnyc.com

www.winkelmoves.com

I want to plan a party that will create a lot of sexual chemistry among the people I invite. What can I do to create a sexy atmosphere?

Folks love a good tomato bruschetta. Really gets ’em going. I suggest rubbing it all over people’s bodies. Give a nice bruschetta massage over somebody’s nipples.

All stupidity aside, I think the most important things are the right people, the smells, the proper lighting, sexy music and the appropriate drugs and alcohol. When you mush all those things together people will be ripping their clothes off in no time at all, and you’ll be getting that orgy you’ve been fantasizing about, young lady.

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I’m cheating on my boyfriend and I think he’s suspicious. I love my boyfriend, but I also like to have fun. How can I continue my affair without getting caught?

I’m a big proponent of honesty. That said, monogamous relationships are not my thing. I don’t feel that humans are meant to be monogamous, especially men. This is a huge reason why this country has a fifty-percent divorce rate. Men are programmed to spread the seed. If my partner were against me seeing other people, I’d break off the relationship. Cheating ain’t cool, and I’m not a cheater. It’s against the Winkel motto, against the Winkel creed!

My boyfriend told me that he’s into peeing on his partner. I’m not into this fetish, so what should I do about this situation without making our sex life awkward or uncomfortable?

I recommend that he break up with you and find a person who will shower him in that famous golden style. I’m very fortunate because I am able to put people at ease sexually. It could be just the kind of people I attract. I’m an admitted pervert and I’m into golden showers, among other things. I usually don’t have an issue with getting somebody to do something perverted. Such as the aforementioned.

What should I do to stand out at a party — from my clothes, to how I present myself and introduce myself?

First things first: never cross your arms. It closes you off to the world. Beyond that, I’m a big fan of the innocent-yet-slutty look. I couldn’t really describe what innocent-yet-slutty would be. It’s a subtle thing. Kind of revealing, but at the same time, not too revealing. As for introductions, never give a dead-fish handshake. A warm hug or a kiss on the cheek is acceptable too. Whatever you do, do it with confidence. Greet somebody with the knowledge that it really doesn’t matter if the person you’re going up to rejects you. It’s a big pond, with many trout.

What’s the best way to look sexy after I’ve barfed four shots of absinthe all over the dance floor?

In a very collected and confident way, compose yourself, get a big ole’ mop and a bucket, and clean up that partially digested tofu and quinoa you ate two hours ago. That shows that you’re a take-charge kind of person who knows how to keep calm in a crisis. You put yourself back together, smooth out your dress, await the slow clap and name chant and fix the situation!



What is the secret to good handjobs?

Let him do it himself. Seriously. I don’t like handjobs. A guy can get himself off best because he knows exactly where to touch and how much pressure to use. I’m a huge fan of mutual masturbation. But if you really must give a handjob, use lots of oil. When I masturbate I use coconut oil. It’s good for your skin and it smells really nice. It’s like fucking a coconut.

Sam Black, 24

www.refugenyc.org

I’m cheating on my boyfriend and I think he’s suspicious. I love my boyfriend, but I also like to have fun. How can I continue my affair without getting caught?

Well, breaking up always works. But I’ve had a couple of open relationships, and you know what? It’s not a bad idea. On the other hand, it requires a lot more maturity.

I go to parties to have fun, but I also want to meet someone and, hopefully, hook up. But girls are so standoffish at parties. What’s the best way to approach a girl I’m interested in without looking like a sleaze or reject?

You want to play the "I’m not interested" game. You want to be there to enjoy yourself and have fun. Have fun, dance, hang with your friends. She’ll notice you for not noticing her.

What should I wear to your party that will guarantee I’ll get laid that night?


Nothing. My last party, my bartender set up a sign that said, "Low on cash? Flash the crowd for a free shot."

I want to plan a party that will create a lot of sexual chemistry among the people I invite. What can I do to create a sexy atmosphere?

Have a lot of couches. Have very cheap drinks. And turn the heat on. The hotter it is, the drunker they get, the more likely it is they’ll take their clothes off.

If I’m at a party alone, what are some good icebreakers?

I always like when a girl picks me out when she comes up to me and says, "You should buy me a drink." It just throws the whole game off, it flips it all around. I’ve had this happen. This girl was using these really cheesy lines, and it was cute and funny.

I’m throwing a cocktail party — what drinks should I serve to keep things classy but sexy?

Sangria. It’s one of those "in the mood" drinks. Girls love it because it has fruit in it. Guys love it because if you have enough of it you’re pretty gone. And it tastes good.

     

  

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Najva Soleimani, 21


myspace.com/lowbrowsocietyforthearts

I haven’t had much luck getting girls off when I go down on them. What sort of techniques do you use?


Well, as a party planner you have to pay attention to every detail to make sure it’s a good party. So when you pleasure someone, you want to make sure you pay attention to all the details. Look at their reactions. Make sure the body is open to you, and if you see the person squirm in displeasure, you know that you’re doing something wrong and you should stop.

What should I do to stand out at a party?

The number one rule is to smile and be confident. Good dance moves help. Wear bright colors, a bright smile and stand in front of bright flash bulbs.

What are the best pick-up lines to use when I go out?

On the dance floor, you can always compliment someone on their moves. Otherwise, it’s not so much about what you say but how you say it. Clubs get loud; use noise as an excuse to get in close. Whisper whatever you have to say in someone’s ear. That will help get you intimate.

If I’m at a party alone, what are some good icebreakers?

When you walk into the party, scan around. Notice the person who’s smiling the most and attracting the most people. Walk directly up to them, give them a compliment and offer to buy them a drink. If you get that person on your side you’ll have that whole party in the palm of your hand.

I’m throwing a cocktail party — what drinks should I serve to keep things classy but sexy?

Absinthe is actually one of my favorites. Or you can serve red wine that will get people horny without getting sloppy drunk. Liquor makes people a little rowdy.

When was the last time you came the hardest and what made it so great?

Actually, it was a few days ago. And it had the rhythm of a great party. It started off slow, things started trickling in, then everything arrived in full force. Finally at the end there was a really long ride home.

William Etundi, 29

www.thedanger.com/

Sometimes when I’m at a party and see someone I’m interested in, I get really horny and want to have sex right then and there. I don’t necessarily want to leave the party to do it, so where’s the best place to squeeze in some sex?

Bathrooms at large parties are not recommended. The sanitary conditions aren’t the best. Behind the DJ booth usually works. Or if there’s a kitchen or some kind of hidden area that’s off-limits. If you want to be bold, you can just find a cozy corner in the lounge.

I go to parties to have fun, but I also want to meet someone and, hopefully, hook up. But girls are so standoffish at parties. What’s the best way to approach a girl I’m interested in without looking like a sleaze or reject?

It’s all about confidence, and taking a sincere interest in something about them, like complimenting their clothes. But sincerely — not making up some cheesy line. Then having a sincere conversation about stuff in the world and then, as quickly as is natural I guess, moving that into the "do you want to go check out behind the DJ booth" conversation.

What should I wear to your party that will guarantee I’ll get laid that night?

I don’t know, a suit made of money. There are no guarantees — that’s what makes it interesting. When there’re no guarantees, it’s all about playing the game.

 

I want to plan a party that will create a lot of sexual chemistry among the people I invite. What can I do to create a sexy atmosphere?

I think anonymity always does that. Masks, costumes, you can’t tell who’s who. And the tighter the event, the more intimate, the more sexy it is. The bigger events kind of lose that intimacy, so make it more private.

I’m throwing a cocktail party — what are some sexy cocktails/drinks I should serve that will keep things classy but sexy?

I think mint juleps are making a comeback. Absinthe is legal now, but I don’t know how sexy it is. It’s pretty strong stuff.

Has throwing parties improved your sex life? How so?

I guess you can say that. I was one of those computer-nerdy kids in high school. I don’t have much problem now meeting people. I don’t think it’s the parties, I think it’s just an increase in confidence. It’s the way you carry yourself.

Interviews by Bianca Merbaum. Dating
Advice From… appears on Fridays. Have questions for the general
public? Send them to sexadvicefrom@nerve.com.

  

     

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©2009 Nerve.com, Inc.