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Mark Winkel, 33

www.wandbnyc.com

www.winkelmoves.com


I want to plan a party that will create a lot of sexual chemistry among the people I invite. What can I do to create a sexy atmosphere?

Folks love a good tomato bruschetta. Really gets 'em going. I suggest rubbing it all over people's bodies. Give a nice bruschetta massage over somebody's nipples.

All stupidity aside, I think the most important things are the right people, the smells, the proper lighting, sexy music and the appropriate drugs and alcohol. When you mush all those things together people will be ripping their clothes off in no time at all, and you'll be getting that orgy you've been fantasizing about, young lady.

I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I think he's suspicious. I love my boyfriend, but I also like to have fun. How can I continue my affair without getting caught?

I'm a big proponent of honesty. That said, monogamous relationships are not my thing. I don't feel that humans are meant to be monogamous, especially men. This is a huge reason why this country has a fifty-percent divorce rate. Men are programmed to spread the seed. If my partner were against me seeing other people, I'd break off the relationship. Cheating ain't cool, and I'm not a cheater. It's against the Winkel motto, against the Winkel creed!

My boyfriend told me that he's into peeing on his partner. I'm not into this fetish, so what should I do about this situation without making our sex life awkward or uncomfortable?

I recommend that he break up with you and find a person who will shower him in that famous golden style. I'm very fortunate because I am able to put people at ease sexually. It could be just the kind of people I attract. I'm an admitted pervert and I'm into golden showers, among other things. I usually don't have an issue with getting somebody to do something perverted. Such as the aforementioned.

What should I do to stand out at a party — from my clothes, to how I present myself and introduce myself?

First things first: never cross your arms. It closes you off to the world. Beyond that, I'm a big fan of the innocent-yet-slutty look. I couldn't really describe what innocent-yet-slutty would be. It's a subtle thing. Kind of revealing, but at the same time, not too revealing. As for introductions, never give a dead-fish handshake. A warm hug or a kiss on the cheek is acceptable too. Whatever you do, do it with confidence. Greet somebody with the knowledge that it really doesn't matter if the person you're going up to rejects you. It's a big pond, with many trout.



What's the best way to look sexy after I've barfed four shots of absinthe all over the dance floor?

In a very collected and confident way, compose yourself, get a big ole' mop and a bucket, and clean up that partially digested tofu and quinoa you ate two hours ago. That shows that you're a take-charge kind of person who knows how to keep calm in a crisis. You put yourself back together, smooth out your dress, await the slow clap and name chant and fix the situation!



What is the secret to good handjobs?

Let him do it himself. Seriously. I don't like handjobs. A guy can get himself off best because he knows exactly where to touch and how much pressure to use. I'm a huge fan of mutual masturbation. But if you really must give a handjob, use lots of oil. When I masturbate I use coconut oil. It's good for your skin and it smells really nice. It's like fucking a coconut.

Sam Black, 24

www.refugenyc.org

I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I think he's suspicious. I love my boyfriend, but I also like to have fun. How can I continue my affair without getting caught?

Well, breaking up always works. But I've had a couple of open relationships, and you know what? It's not a bad idea. On the other hand, it requires a lot more maturity.

I go to parties to have fun, but I also want to meet someone and, hopefully, hook up. But girls are so standoffish at parties. What's the best way to approach a girl I'm interested in without looking like a sleaze or reject?

You want to play the "I'm not interested" game. You want to be there to enjoy yourself and have fun. Have fun, dance, hang with your friends. She'll notice you for not noticing her.

What should I wear to your party that will guarantee I'll get laid that night?

Nothing. My last party, my bartender set up a sign that said, "Low on cash? Flash the crowd for a free shot."

I want to plan a party that will create a lot of sexual chemistry among the people I invite. What can I do to create a sexy atmosphere?

Have a lot of couches. Have very cheap drinks. And turn the heat on. The hotter it is, the drunker they get, the more likely it is they'll take their clothes off.

If I'm at a party alone, what are some good icebreakers?

I always like when a girl picks me out — when she comes up to me and says, "You should buy me a drink." It just throws the whole game off, it flips it all around. I've had this happen. This girl was using these really cheesy lines, and it was cute and funny.

I'm throwing a cocktail party — what drinks should I serve to keep things classy but sexy?

Sangria. It's one of those "in the mood" drinks. Girls love it because it has fruit in it. Guys love it because if you have enough of it you're pretty gone. And it tastes good.