Dating Confessions by You "I'm wearing sexy underwear while talking to you online so that I feel confident enough to tell you that I'm into you."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Nerve's culture blog: We bring you more Dita Von Teese from the German Playboy.
Screengrab by Various Today in Nerve's film blog: Holiday special - 35 people, places and movies we're thankful for.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Michael Phelps indulges Anderson Cooper in some watersports and Dexter makes a 'bitch move.' Plus: the secret of Tina Fey's scar, revealed!
Libra
(Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
You're overly imaginative on Monday: did she intentionally flash her thong or is she wearing low-risers? Creative energy is better spent making a costume. Sometimes the best Halloween sex happens with the stranger who understands that the fluorescent light bulb you’re wearing means you’re a walking, talking Donald Judd sculpture and not, um, a light bulb. You’ll be at the height of your game and good looks through mid-November: if you don’t get some between now and then, it means you didn’t leave the house. Saturday’s the day to plan a trip. On Halloween, someone wants you to confess something you’d rather not. If it comes down to naked truth or naked dare, pick the dare.
Scorpio
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
There’s such a sad, thin line between self-indulgence and overindulgence. We know it’s a pain, but try and find that line this week. On Wednesday, tread carefully if you need someone to see things from your point of view (and that point of view is best appreciated while naked and between the sheets). Basically, be subtle and tactful, not subtle and get-them-drunk-as-piss sneaky. If you’re in a relationship, the eclipsed Full Moon will make commitment difficult during the next few weeks. Now is the time to address the things that make you twitchy. Starting Friday, you’re in for three weeks of true romance or really good porn.
Sagittarius
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
If you’ve ever wanted to sleep with someone who’s twice your age or success level, Monday is the day. We don’t know why, but those are the people you’ll attract, so let them get the bar tab. In fact, try and keep them around through Wednesday, when you’ll be feeling frugal and power-hungry. Full Moon Thursday is the day to give something up (booze, weed, junk food, you name it), but this weekend demands debauchery. You’re supposed to get dressed up and fuck someone who looks like someone else. Go to the gym on Monday — you gotta detox to retox.
Capricorn
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
On Monday, you have a lot on your proverbial plate — too much to grant someone’s request for face time. If she really cares for you, she’ll understand. If not, find someone who does. Thursday’s eclipsed Full Moon will have a powerful effect on your sex life for the next couple of weeks. If you’re in a relationship, it's make-or-break time. If you’re single or sexually repressed, we can’t promise you’ll find love, but we’re confident that you’ll get laid. On Friday, you’ll be entering an “I need to surround myself with older, wiser, richer people” phase, so maybe now’s the time to date someone older, wiser and/or richer. We should warn you: Sagittarius is in a similar boat, so you’ve got competition.
Aquarius
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Someone you’ve been sleeping with — or want to sleep with — might blow smoke up your ass on Monday. Unless they’re wearing a smoke machine costume, say “bite me” and walk away. (Now that we think about it, you should also walk away if they’re wearing a smoke machine costume; overzealous adult trick-or-treaters freak us out.) On Wednesday, make some long-term changes in your love life. If you’re single, get yourself out there. If you’re in a relationship, get serious or get out. Thursday’s eclipsed Full Moon urges you to tidy up loose ends on the domestic front, so throw out those sex tapes you made with your ex. On Halloween weekend, you’ll be the sign everyone wants to sleep with. Surround yourself with people you’d like to see naked.
Pisces
(Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Whether things are going swell or you got dumped on your ass two months back, you’ll have relationships on the mind on Monday. On Wednesday, make important changes in the way you deal with all things sex. Thursday’s eclipsed Full Moon will affect your communications during the next couple of weeks: certain discoveries will make you rethink your lover or love interest. Between Friday and mid-November, you'll get a little closer with your partner. Sparks will be rekindled, the sex will be “just like old times,” blah, blah, blah — get a room. On Saturday, your plans might backfire. Let someone else pick the bars, the parties and your costume.
Aries
(Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Be careful, Aries — you've been looking at your love life through rose-colored glasses. Avoid over-analyzing: just because he said, “I love that you drink Scotch” does not mean that he loves you. Just because she said, “I love it when you stop by my apartment” does not mean she wants you to move in. If you're in a long-term relationship, you might become more emotionally dependent on your mate. Embrace the new vulnerable you, but double up on time spent alone or with friends. Remember: your name doesn’t have to be Ben or Jennifer to become a co-dependent half of a not-so-enviable whole.
Taurus
(Apr. 20-May 20)
Keep romantic inclinations in perspective on Monday. If you’ve got a lover, make like James Taylor and shower the people you love with love. Unfortunately, there’s a reason Taylor was a heroin addict: sometimes people are simply NOT IN THE MOOD, and you have to get over it or find someone new. Regardless of your relationship status, Thursday's eclipsed Full Moon will urge you to eradicate negative relationship karma. Wear your wedding ring to that bachelor party; tell that flirty guy you’re taken or just not interested. If you’re single, cut out the dead wood, and the best sex you’ve ever had will practically land on your doorstep (or barstool…same thing).
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
We understand that moderation is one of those things that’s easier in theory, but for the sake of your sex life, you have to balance love and work. Why not make a date for Tuesday? Wednesday is fine, too, as long as you don’t open your mouth too often — your lover could be in a misinterpreting mood. Thursday’s eclipsed Full Moon gives you the perfect opportunity to confront your fears. Feeling like you’ll never have sex again? The Full Moon is here to fix that. Starting Friday through late November, you’ll be charm magnified, turning more heads than you can count. Just don’t let it go to yours. On Saturday, you’ll be lucky and get lucky, so buy a lottery card and condoms.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Sometimes, double-booking means you’ll be twice as likely to get laid. But it’s Over-Committed, Why-Didn’t-I-Just-Stay-Home-and-Watch-Law and Order-reruns Monday, so think before confirming happy hour with X, dinner with Y and drinks with Z. Wednesday is for troubleshooting, and right now your biggest problem is what the hell to be for Halloween. A little advice: if you’re female, try not to wear lingerie in public. (However, if you’re male, we’ve got a pink negligee you can borrow.) Thursday’s eclipsed full moon focuses on your hopes and dreams for the future. If there’s something or someone you want, concentrate on them for the next couple of weeks. Starting Friday, you’re in for three to four weeks of social acceptance. Enjoy.
Leo
(July 22-Aug. 22)
The object of your affection might feel exceptionally self-loving on Monday. We suggest staying away: bedmates are never less attractive than when they’re talking about how many people flirted with them at the market. Tuesday’s a good day to spend money. On Wednesday, you’ll have more influence than usual over a loved one's actions. (Keep your mouth shut when it comes to their costume options, because it’s going to backfire.) On Full Moon Thursday, rest and wait for Friday, when you embark on three weeks of social bliss. If you’re single, start filling in the calendar, because Mr. or Ms. Better Than the Last One is out there waiting to be seduced. If you’re in a relationship, keep in mind that the proximity of Mr. or Ms. Better Than the Last One could affect you too.
Virgo
(Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
If you’re in a relationship, Monday is one of those days when you wish you weren’t. Everyone has limits on the number of times they can hear, “I need you to call more, listen more, etc.,” so you may as well vocalize those limits today. If you’re single, Tuesday is the day to seek consolation from that friend you wish were a fuck buddy. Go to his or her house and bring some wine. If he or she sheds a sympathetic tear, you’ll be naked before Gilmore Girls is over. To be confident in your convictions is a beautiful thing, but on Wednesday and Full Moon Thursday, you’ll be Republican in your one-sidedness. Contrary to what G.W. says, just because you say it doesn’t make it so.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
