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As simply as I can say it, I think you are unbelievably homophobic. Not that I belive you think it's "wrong" or "bad", it's just you that seem very uncomfortable with your sexuality. and it shows in this experiment, as with some of the other experiments you've done, this was just the one that took it over the top.

Grant is so cute and funny that I would marry him even if he did live in fairyland. He could have his boyfriends and I could have my boyfriends and we could double date. It'd be fun.

P.S. I can say "fairyland" because my best friends are gay and they think it's funny.

Why don't you just stick with taking pictures of couples doing it. Shit why do you have to do shit like this.I mean shit it made me uncomfortable. Does it make me gay if I got a boner reading the conga part?

I loved this. I'm a gay man, and your observations are so accurate. They're the exact reason that I've turned from a 3-nights-a-week club queen to whatever else it is I can be. Your essay was hilarious and heartbreaking, as all the best are. Thank you.

Nerve is ALWAYS homophobic - for some strange reason...

My favorite part about this is the amount of criticism Grant opens himself up to. I can just see the "you are so confused" e-mails flying like made after people read this. Grant manages, in only the way that he can, to give us a very specific view at the mind of a hetero man, he doesn't filter or censor himself, says things that can be deemed "offensive" or "generalized" or "nieve" because, in truth, that is what most of us are. He does no harm in this, and if you take a second to really read the piece, you will realize that Grant opens up a very cool discourse that goes largely unexamined today. Grant makes a number of "straight" asssumptions; assumptions I would have made and many other like us would have. And the scary part is, if you are mad at him for it, you are mad at someone who is 99% safer in how he thinks than a large portion of our population. If his mindset can frighten a few people, imagine if someone unsympathetic, unwilling and uninterested had written it. Anyway, as usual Grant, you remain the best thing about Nerve. Great job, well done, and if you can manage to start a discourse on this topic, then the experiment, even amongst those at Nerve who probably are remarkably likeminded, then it will have been an unequivacle success. Keep up the great great work.

I am female, straight and not directly involved in the gay NY culture, but I used to live next door to The Monster in the West Village (corner of W.4th & Grove). Every night I walked past it I saw a plethora (a rainbow, if you will) of gay men: older conservative men, leather-clad machismos, yuppie biz-types, gloss-donning hipsters, trashy men, classy men...all kinds of guys. And not once did I see anyone virtually screwing on the bar. Everyone seemed very respectful - just a bunch of guys hanging out by the bar or the piano, chatting. Maybe hooking up, but not obvious to the outside passing observer. I wonder if The Monster would have provided you with more fullfilling results. Granted it's in the West Village, but like I said, all types seem to show up there. Aside, insteresting and enlightening project. Quite gutsy of you to blindly throw yourself into the lion's den of gay NY.

The article is fine - and yes, Grant is smart and funny - its just that for a magazine proporting to be an intelligent, open ended look at sexuality to examine homosexuality maybe twice a year at most, and then only under the guise of either a mock-umentary ethnographic expedition or just regular mocking (see nerve's earlier lampooning of the NY times inclusion of gay marriages in their society pages)is more than ridiculous (and shamefull), and in the end homophobic.

yikes. forget the homophobe stuff, these men are frightfully unattractive.

Faaaaah-bew-luss The most amusing thing on the internet apart from the "war" coverage.

Grant, I really concur that you are by far the most entertaining thing on Nerve. What really upsets me are people who are so willing to scream, "homophobe!" when this is so obviously far from the truth and further serves only to drain that word of any valuable purpose whatsoever. It is true you don't completely understand how things are for gay men but you ventured FEARLESSLY out there to give it a shot and deal with the fallout in an honest manner. As a gay man, I will admit I am terrified at the idea of intimacy with women as they perplex me to no end and most efforts I do make to understand them are probably no better than what you've done here. What matters is that people make an effort to understand each other, and that you've done commendably, vividly, humorously; if only the rest of the world would make one tenth the effort to be as fearless and non-homophobic as you in approaching people who are not like them, the world would be so much better off. Great job. Good article. I only wish I'd been there to make out with you myself!

If you kept going to gay bars, it's perfectly normal, and you would be called a "fag stag". But yeah! Aren't gay bars and clubs so much more fun!?

grant, luv, you rock. yep. that's it.

no, no, not homophobic. brave, sweet, self-critical, adventurous, respectful, honest. yes. not square, not scared [to the point of not trying, at least] not boring, not mean, not lying, not. luvly. yes.

I don't get it Grant... I mean I would have been throwing up once another guy kissed me.... That's not homophobic, it just is a natural reaction because the thought of gay sex turns my stomach. That much said, if two guys want to get at it, well, that's their business and they should be able to do so without the world lecturing them on the supposed "evil" of it. But to try to play gay, when you are really straight seems stupid to me. Better to have articles by gays about gays talking about the diverse nature of being gay. Not this pretend stuff... not that there aren't some good points, it just hits me as... stupid. Now I await all the people who will call me a "homophobe".

Nas - I consider you more of a "homoskeptic."

what did em and lo think of u the next day?

Well, it's obvious to me that some readers just don't have a sense of humour. i thought this piece was funny and endearing. Obviously, Grant is really comfortable with his sexuality--comfortable enough to experiment, at least temporarily, with his image. Someone who is threatened by homosexuality doesn't go to a gay club to see what it's like to flirt with other men--they beat people up in an ally instead.

Why would a straight guy go to a gay bar? Out here in San Diego, there are scads of women who love to party, drink and maybe meet a nice guy who can handle his booze so that he can perform later after 10 or so when she invites him over for sex and coffee in the morning. It seems as though many gay men are interested in one thing, the physical looks and size of their pick up. How many straight men have over a thousand women sex partners yearly, unlike many homosexual men? How many men can seduce three women a day, unlike gay hustlers, who are obsessed with different men partners daily?

[genuflects in Grant's direction]

This was one of the best things I've read on Nerve so far. I'm gay and I've known plenty of closet-cases and homophobes and can confidently say that Grant is neither -- which makes the fact that he pulled this article off even more amazing. It does need to be restated that this night at the Hole is NOT a typical gay bar night, it's pretty trashy. But hey, frat parties are pretty similar and those are mostly straight affairs. But I digress. Excellent article!

Good God Stoddard. You are freakin' hot. And I'm a woman. Yum.

This was great. I mean it's all in good fun. I love gay bars. I am a straight girl & the reasons I go is because Gay men know how to have a good time. It's just that simple. Even though it saddens me a bit that Grant can't get any hetero action. I think he is gorgeous.

Hey Grant, while you have a deft turn of phrase, this piece was poorly structured besides its patronizing, dumb ass attitude towards gay people. the whole faux naivite tone was nauseating. if I could find you in a bar, I'd throw up on you. the premise of this "piece" or whatever you call it, is so fucking lame. as though gay people can't write about themselves? that they need the spectatorship of some supposedly straight guy? or, maybe this wasn't supposed to be read by gay people at all! fags are like creatures in a zoo and you're the visitor, huh? yeah, I'm a humorless faggot who doesn't appreciate social tourism masquerading as "science" as for other suggestions, why don't you go undercover and... COME OUT? or, since you're obviously such an investigative journalist (and could, kinda sorta pass for jail bait) why don't you go undercover and... GET SHOCK TREATMENT?

AMEN to that!

KAT, if you like Grant so much why don't you email him. grant@nerve.com. He might even do you for science! LOL

The troublesome thing about this glib but witty piece is that Grant doesn't use his experience among the exotic 'gays' to come to any understanding about why he experienced what he did... or what it might feel like for a gay person in an equally 'straight' setting. In the end it all comes off as the introduction suggests it will- a pathetic bid for attention among the previously dismissed dregs. The funny thing is, that despite the Hole's reputation, it is potentially a really fun place. It is only as depressing as you make it, and with company like the above, no wonder Grant left the Hole feeling glum about humanity.

Seems to me you have the worst of both worlds, my boy. Not only do you have this apparent handicap of an effete British (English?) accent, but you're guilty of teeth-grinding Manhattanisms like "10 bones for a weak-ass Sea Breeze". Make your fucking mnid up ;)

Being gay is not a sexual preference, it is a culture. You can play at being gay for the sake of an experience, it's actually not a bad idea, and Mr. Studdard certainly seemed to know how to play. But it was kind of conceited the way Granty wrote about it. Why not write a piece about the fact that sexual preferences in human beings actually evolve and change in the course of one's life? Why not be open about the fact that maybe, just maybe, without being homosexual or bisexual, you would actually like to try the experience of sex with someone of your own gender? Many women do, and they don't call themselves lesbians or bisexual. Why can't men play around, experience, take friendship with one of your dude buddy to another level and fuck him? Doesn't make you anything you don't want to be. It just makes you a normal person who understands that love and friendship don't have gender attached to it, and that sometimes, friendship is so powerful that you develop sexual attraction. Falling in love is not about gender, it's about feelings. Now, Mr. Stud, if you would have been serious about this scientific experiment, you might have taken someone home. OK, it was done in good humour (spelled with a u, I'm canadian HA!). But the fact that you mentionned right at first that you are attracted to women, is probably the lamest part of the piece. Hasn't science taught you anything? Like keep an open mind?

Grant fucking Rocks!

Grant: You are such an awesome guy. Very funny stuff.

I thought it was interesting on alot of levels. And of course Grant had to qualify things by saying he preferred ladies...now he won't get a bunch of gay man email asking for his digits. Duh. It also showed that he was being open-minded...This criticism, "Yeah, but he coulda been gay!" is silly. As Dan Savage says, "blah blah blah gayness is not something you try and develop a taste for, gayness is something that sneaks up on freaked out 14-year-old boys." Besides, you read about these things knowing they're not what Grant usually engages in. Hence the unique perspective. It wouldn't be nearly as nuanced otherwise. Anyway, I didn't know he was European. Huh. He fit my Michegan stereotype so well...

Grant - you are utterly fearless, or at least, really brave. If I was a guy, i would have jumped on you, too.

Wow! Grant, those pictures are hot. Sizzle. Close up of the jeans crotch shot, please? Girls LOVE a nice package. And yes, size matters. Next experiment? How about you see if you can connect with a woman and get a complete stranger to fuck you without saying all the usual guy calcualted lines? No, not bits of paper with scratchy love notes on them. Real intimacy. Innocent sexual union. Can you practice "rapport" instead of "report" - the difference between female communication and male knowledge transfer.