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Grant, this is far and away your best piece yet. Truly well written and interesting. Great job. Great, great job.

Naughty boy, sneaking in on our orgies! And dahling, if you wanted to be stirred, all you had to do was ask...

What a great read indeed and i thought i had a great job. In the course of your work and boldly in the name of science, you became one of the "lucky few" who have explored group sex and although it is not for everyone, it must be said "it's a pleasure all lively sensual and stable beings should experience with respect and safety" at least once in their lifetime! J

Thanks, I figured it was about like that.

Not all of us will have the opportunity to experience an orgy from the safe confines of journalistic couriosity or have access to such an exclusive event. For those mere mortals among us, has anyone in the audience tried the "membership" clubs that aren't quite as secretive as OneLegUp. If so, how was your experience? Would you recommend others who are genuinely curious try it? Thanks for your input.

Sweet Jesus.

Hey that was a great story, but one very big question is still on my mind after several days ..... how did things turn out between Clair and you? Did the experience wreck things? I of course always wanted to try such a large-scale orgy (I have done little ones) but I am so afraid it will become a negative thing between me and my partner. So what happened afterwards?

I went to a "libertine" club once (only), well-run and not sleazy, and had strange aftershocks. Like Grant, I was with someone I didn't know all that well. Though there were some interesting moments (it';s amazing to have four sets of hands on your body), I decided that one must have a very VERY strong sense of one's own limits... also I was distressed at the woman-as-object sense I got from the club (could be because it was in Europe, where feminism is not practiced as arduously as it is in America). But what I found, especially, is that one must go through these experiences to decide what one likes and doesn't like. I now know that my long-time fantasies of sex with more than one would probably not be my cup of tea, after all. Thanks, Grant, for a clear report that isn't fogged with the usual panting fantasies. ;-)

can you get rid of this writer? he sucks raw eggs. how can anyone make a sex party boring?

Grant's conclusions leave me perplexed. I felt as confused as he did after reading his report. Would he have felt better if the companion he brought was someone he was truly involved with? The fact that his date had more fun than he purportedly did? I for one could not bear the thought of my lady being done by someone as vapid as "J".

I think the author is feeling really insecure about the whole thing. Dear author, So you were not as virile or "attentive" as that "asian" J. or Claire or the "asian" girl in the first party. You will eventually get around to having as much fun too. Eat a lot of eggs, eat a lot of food that makes you hot and horny and take viagra or something. Claire came across as a fun girl who was genuinely concerned about you having fun - and when you played the party pooper she went ahead and did not let it interfere with her life. It is HARD for men - particularly young men who have not had much experience with sex. It is HARD to maintain an erection. Couples who are in a serious relationship (as Paglia mentioned) get to the point where they can sustain erections for long. It is harder for writers because they do a lot of thinking from their real head instead of being all balls. Its much harder sometimes to stop thinking and just listen to your heart pumping blood to all the right places.

A repressed puritan's account of what its like to be in an orgy. Your snipes at people who were having fun are sad. The entire ending was depressing and I felt sad for you more than anything. Honestly some people are just NOT meant to have sex with more than one person (in their whole lifetime) more than once a year and in more than one position. There is a reason some people become monks and nuns. There is a reason why these events have to be exclusive. Some people are just meant to admire others having fun because they have too many problems of their own to indulge in it.

Hey Axs, I think that my egg/dairy consumption isn't really the issue here. People *were* having a great time at Palagia's party. Heck, I had a great time myself. I sincerely wish that I could have lost myself more in the moment. Perhaps when I'm a little older and self assured I could see myself revisiting a sex party. But I gave this thing a shot ( or 4 ) and it simply wasn't for me.

I have been in several orgies and it was not for science. It was fun and although the last one was back in the late 70s, my wife sometimes pesters me about the several women I had relations with. It was in a large home with several showers, a pool and plenty of wine, grass and several bedrooms. The foreplay was great--slow dancing with a woman naked in heels to accent her legs and buns. Tummy rubbing, kissing, rubbing nipples and hands pulling and teasing. Having sex with a couple next to you on the bed (woman on top in a noisy screwing session) is one hell of an experience!

How do you get a job like yours?

Grant, reading back over the "did it for science" columns, one begins to wonder what IS your cup of tea. You claim to be more of a sexualist than a sensualist, and I'm all cool with that. But what the heck? Almost every one of these has had a bemused, not-quite-for-me tone to it. Wierd.

I was there, and I thought everyone was having a nice time. Too bad the author couldn't just acccept everyone for who they were, and the pleasure they were having.

I happen to think Grant did a great job. And he was a case in point about the risks of it. If you go with someone you are not secure with, you may well feel lonely at the end of the night. If you go with someone you love, then you might find it unsettling. If I can psycho-analyze Grant for a second, I think he associates sex with love or at least the hope of love, that maybe the partner he is having sex with will turn out to be the "one". An orgy is not about that. It is a physical event, centered on lust, designed to fulfill a sexual urge, but not to fulfill love. It can be for some people, a part of love life after a secure relationship is entered into. But in the situation, Grant was not participating with a secure partner, but a new potential partner. Without a strong bond, then he would feel lonely... in the end, everyone wants to leave with someone who they know will always want them and come back to them. It is nice to be wanted, and not just for your cock or vagina.

I don't know why Grant gets all these nasty barbs because he experienced this thing and found it wasn't his cup of tea. Let's admit it: people fantatise about group sex much more than they indulge in it. GS had the courage to try it out -- AND to admit he didn't enjoy it as much as the others. This honesty doesn't make him anti-sex or whatever. Good job, Grant. You really did it for science.

Hmmm...one of the things that makes good science is not to have the researcher so darned ambivalent towards the experiment. Nerve should have had the girlfriend write up the piece...

Really nice article. As always, your tone keeps it lightheearted and interesting. keep it up!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article. I myself have only been to one such party. I on the other hand was allowed to go stag. Being male this is, as you stated, normally not the case. My party was a bit different though. It was half goth club, half s&m orgy. I was tortured in various ways. In one way, there were a few people I wanted to play with but didn't get the opportuity. Another was the brunette that found out that I liked getting my neck bitten HARD. She made me look as if I had been victimized by a defanged vampire. The worst was that it was her first such party and didn't let me actually penetrate her. At least not like that. I did however date her for a few months. In a sense I'm jealous of you. The passwords would have been fun... Devian

I feel like you got a bad rap for being honest about how you felt about this experience. I for one have fantasized about being with a woman or watching/participating in a multiple sex act, but I agree that if in fact I acted out these fantasies I would be very jealous of my husband having sex with anyone else. Even though I do (sort of )want to try out making out with another woman I coukd never live with the fact that my husband was "with" another man. I know that isn't fair, but I guess that's why some of us still just fantasize...because we couldn't really handle/enjoy reality. Thanks for the great article though...I'll have some great wet dreams from this one!!

I dunno, I guess I expected a little more detail..kinda like a "Forum" story. You didn't sound like you had a good time and if I had to depend on you for a "Review" of a party..I'd never attend one.

Grant, I hear ya, honey! I went through a very similar experience going to these parties with someone I had just started dating. I have met a few couples who have really strong relationships who enjoy the lifestyle together, but unless you are doing this with someone you love and who loves you, it can be sad and surreal. At least I learned certain things that I could never have known without that experience (ie: for me it's important to know someone's name before I fuck him and "Jackie says hi" on your answering machine can make you feel like trash.)