Jack’s Naughty Bits: Kama Sutra

Pin it

Jack's Naughty Bits

The Kama Sutra is the greatest sex manual ever written. Compiled in the fourth century from texts dating back to 800 B.C., its depth and breadth are staggering. With chapters on, among other things, scratching, biting, squeezing, caressing, screwing, fellating, relaxing, seducing, meeting your wife, meeting other men’s wives, pandering, prostituting, breaking up, making up, making better and making bigger, it covers all the sexual bases, plus a few you might not have known about (for example, can you name the eight different types of marks that can be left with fingernails?).

The diversity of sexual practices in the Kama Sutra reflects the great number of Indian subcultures from which its compiler drew his information. In some regions cunnilingus and fellatio are common, in others forbidden; in some places men dress as women and work as prostitutes, in other places there aren’t prostitutes at all. Sodomy tends only to take place in the South, while in the North the women don’t even like to kiss. Finally, “in country villages” and in Koshala (a matriarchal society), women like violent sex and dildos and often hide a multitude of young men in their quarters to “satiate [their] desires, either one by one, or as a group.” Is that what they mean by the wisdom of the ancients?

Among my favorite sections is the one on penis enlargement. The surest technique seems to be that of taking the hairs of the shuka insect and mixing them with oil, then rubbing them on the penis for ten consecutive nights. When the penis swells, its owner should sleep face downward on a wooden bed with a hole to let the perturbed member hang through. Various cooling mixtures are then employed to ease the accompanying pain, and once the man feels okay again, the swelling endures for life. Sounds good, right? But before you run off to depilate your backyard shukas, take note: the Kama Sutra advises that all techniques for increasing penis size be learned from an expert.

The excerpt below is taken from the section on the stimulation of erotic desire. It divides all potential players into six categories, depending on the size of their equipment. What’s marked is the attention given to the pleasure of the woman as well as the man — a concern we don’t expect to find in centuries prior to our own. But the Kama Sutra is just as much for her as for him, and even cites a source as saying that a woman needs to have an orgasm in order to be impregnated. I think the continued propogation of the species during the Victorian period in England disproves the theory, but hey, you can’t knock its intention.

* * *  

From The Complete Kama Sutra
Translated by Alain Daniélou

1. According to the size of his sexual organ, a man is called a hare, bull or stallion. The woman, according to type, is called doe, mare or cow/elephant.

2. Those that are matched form three balanced pairs.

3. On the other hand, unequal relations number six.

4. Relations on equal terms are preferable to those between superior and inferior organs. There are thus nine sorts of sexual relations according to size.

5. Feeble temperaments are those that during amorous advances show little ardor, whose semen does not flow abundantly, and who do not support being bitten, scratched, etc.

6. On the other hand, there are also middling and passionate temperaments, and the same goes also for women.

7. Here too, as for size, there are nine sorts of coition.

8. Similarly, as far as the duration of the act is concerned, there are rapid, average and slow men.

9. As far as women are concerned, opinions vary,

10. Since, according to Auddalaki Shvetaketu, her sexuality is less strong than the man’s.

11. Only friction with the man’s penis calms the itching of her vulva.

12. Although she can bring herself to sexual enjoyment, she prefers another form of satisfaction.

13. Neither man nor woman can know the pleasure experienced by the other. One cannot perceive a man’s feelings. How could one describe his sexual enjoyment?

14. “How can one know therefore whether a woman feels a pleasure similar to a man’s? A man’s excitement ceases once he has ejaculated. A woman’s need is not satisfied at that point, since a woman’s nature is not like a man’s.”

15. One thing certain is that a man whose activity lasts long pleases women, while on the other hand they complain of men who reach orgasm rapidly.

16. Once her itch has been calmed, she wants the act to continue for a long time. Duration is thus an essential element.

17. It is said: “In coupling, the friction of the man’s member calms the woman’s excitement. But it is in signs of affection, kissing and caressing, that she finds her pleasure.”

18. But according to the sons of Babhru, a young woman gets a taste for the thing if the duration of the act is prolonged. If a man repeats his performance, it is the best way to achieve it. If, for lack of duration, she does not experience enjoyment, she is unable to conceive.

19. Not having been proved, these two opinions must be examined.

© Alain Daniélou