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Maybe it was the humidity and the heat, but only the die-hards, film geeks and
goth punks turned out for the screening of Firecracker at the FantAsia film
festival at Montreal. This haunting, so-good-but-flawed-you-want-to-kill-the-director
movie was waiting to provoke us, but first came the producer, an old dude with
grey hair who looked like a teacher and one of the actresses, Selene Luna, insanely glamorous despite her short stature. Her face was beautiful, all
vivacious Tura Satana-like black hair and arched eyebrows. She's perfectly
formed with swelling breasts and cropped jeans, but she's under four-feet-tall; the crowd gawped until she got to the microphone. And yet, when she
started talking, she seemed to grow instantly six inches taller. Her confidence
filled the room.
   
Selene has modelled for Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent, and appeared in
music videos for Madonna, Marilyn Manson and the Smashing Pumpkins. She's
been described as a Gen X version of Marlene Dietrich, and her acting resume
is eclectic. She broke down one of her personal inhibitions by appearing in this
new film, which features the circus sideshow freak element she's
spent years running away from, and she broke a few more speaking candidly with us about sex. — Marcelle Perks

How did you get into showbiz?

My family emigrated to the U.S. when I was three, but we were very poor so we couldn't
afford to do much. We lived in LA and we used to go in the family station wagon
cruising around just looking to spot celebrities. We were voyeurs and just like
- wow - look at that, we're so close to it but so far away. And if anything,
to me as a child I completely bought the enchantment of it all. I realized at
a very young age I was going to be stared at and judged and gawked at because
of a physical feature I have no control over, so I might as well do it on my
terms. Showbiz was a platform.


You're part of a dance troupe?

The Velvet Hammers was created ten years ago by Michele Carr; it's actually
single-handed responsible for creating the neo-burlesque revival in America.
The whole concept is very authentic to the original burlesque genre where there
are women of all shapes and sizes. I am the only little person in the troupe,
but there every woman's different. I went into it reluctantly, a friend
asked me to join. I really didn't have the sense of self that I do now,
or the confidence because I didn't look Hollywood, and god forbid I'd
have to take off my clothes!


But you do look Hollywood!

Thank you! I do enjoy a challenge; I need a reason to live, some fire under my
seat. And so I said screw it, I'm going to do it once and see what happens.
And I got such a rush out of it, it was just so great and so empowering and what
I learned about it was that body image is so completely 100% psychological. And
as long as you believe you're sexy, the audience believes you're
sexy. All the woman are completely different, some really tall, really large
and they're all the most beautiful women I've ever met.


Are you one of those women who have to be dolled up all
the time in public?

I will not set foot outside the door without lipstick and mascara. If I can't
find the mascara I put on some shades just 'cos it's so weird you're
not even conscious of it when it's happening, but we're saturated
in images.


Kath Albury, an academic, wrote about women who take being feminine to extremes: homovestites.
What do you think of women who undergo bizarre surgery like Pamela Anderson and
Lola Ferarra?

In my eyes that's not even girly, that's off the charts, bizarre.
In my opinion, there's way too much of it. I personally am not opposed
to plastic surgery. Whatever floats your boat. I'm so surrounded by it,
I'm almost desensitized, it's almost like getting a hair cut, but
there is a line. 80% of the breasts in LA don't even look like breasts
to me. Mine are real and sometimes I'm grateful, but they get heavy and
there's the whole thing about keeping them up and all that jazz. Don't
go me wrong, I'm grateful to them — living in L.A. they're
an asset, I guess!


What's it like to go to auditions as a little person?

I've been to hundreds of auditions and the vast majority of them are pretty
painful. I've learned to just kind of switch off my thinking on it because
I can't work without auditions so there's no eliminating it. I'm
going in with the full understanding that I'm going to be judged based on my appearance or my performance. And many times, as a little person,
a lot of it is costume or character stuff, so I know it's about whether
I'm going to fit the costume or not, and nothing to do with talent or skill.


Do you have to watch your weight?

I've literally been the same size for most of my life with the exception
of growing breasts and the little tummy I've got now. Once I hit thirty I started
feeling it. My body is really like a state that does not change. I don't
grow, I don't shrink. I probably eat more than you! You have no idea. I
blow people's minds sometimes.


How do men treat you?

Men, especially older men, are always very chivalrous with me. Men instantly
become gentlemen with me somehow, and I sure appreciate it. "Sure, carry
my bag, please!" I kind of manipulate it sometimes.


You say you're a very sexual person.

I don't know if you are born this way, I've always been a sexual
individual. And I don't mean promiscuous, I've had very few sexual
partners in my life, I'd say under fifteen. (I don't think that's
a lot). I know some chicks that you can't even imagine how many, they don't
even know! I enjoy sex very much, but obtaining it is a whole other deal for
me. Let's say I date very old fashioned, but I fuck like a slut. I'm
very aware of myself and am in touch with my sexuality and very fascinated by
sex. To me, it's organic and natural - it blows my mind that it's
such a mystery to a lot of women. It's your own body!


So you don't have any problems having an orgasm?

Not at all! No and if I can't get one, he's going to have a problem.
Not that I'm some cold brute in the sack I always manage to find a sensitive
way to tell the guy. Men just need to know what you want and women don't
say it because they're ashamed; I was initially ashamed to be a little
person, but I'm not ashamed of having sex and what I want. All you have
to do is gently let them know what you want. And then a guy is so happy to please
and if he knows he's pleasing you, everyone's happy.


Was losing your virginity a memorable experience?

I was more determined than nervous. The guy didn't know that I was a virgin
so that did make me a little bit nervous, but I was also more concerned with 'let's
just get it over with' and see what this big mystery's about.


A lot of women say the best position to climax in, is women on top. Do you agree?

You know I heard that as well, and I've tried that and that doesn't
seem to be the case for me. I don't know if it's because I'm
small, or a size thing or what, but for me doggy is more my style.


How do you feel about the sex and disability?

Terms are important. Being called a "little person" is fine, it's
not offensive; it's a blanket term that covers 875 variations of short
stature conditions. However, I'm not identified by it. The essence of me
is I am a sexy individual and I am pretty vocal about it; I'm motivated
by the fact that, in general, people think that disabled individuals have no
desire for sexuality and intimacy and that's a huge misconception. What
makes you think I have any less desires than you do? Sexuality is a big part of who we are as individuals.

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