The Lisa Diaries

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The Lisa Diaries by Lisa Carver  

A Woman Who Gets Gone Down On

April 29, 1999

I gave him free range on the ladies while he’s gone, because what do I
care what goes on with L.A. tarts and Texans? So far he hasn’t done
anything. He says he can’t stop thinking about going down on me, which
is funny because he doesn’t like to do that. I don’t like to have it done either, believe it or not. People are always trying to do it to me, and I just move away, pull them up. There’s too much loss of control. With sex and getting
fingered, I can make myself come by how I move against something. I
can rearrange myself as I please. But I can’t do anything with someone
going down on me. It’s wet and delicate and I just have to lie
there and let them. When someone’s eyes and mouth and ears and hands
are down there between your legs, and all your receptors are up
here on the pillow, the other person has all the information
and you have none. It’s as if they’re watching you while you sleep and
reading your dreams. I’ve only allowed it to happen a dozen or so
times, under special circumstances — like with this dominatrix I
met in a bar in New York, because she was bragging that she’s so
beautiful she never has to do anything for anyone sexually, she just
receives. So I got this idea in my head I’d make her go down on me in
the bathroom and I wouldn’t touch her back . . . and it happened! And now I want to let him.


I got a haircut very unlike my usual pigtails: short, jagged bangs and long sides. It’s severe. You know what it is? The haircut of a woman who gets gone down on.

Lisa Carver and